MENGOMEL

Sejak balik kerja tadi tak habis-habis aku mengomel sendirian tentang ketidakpuasan hatiku ini.

Astaghfirullah…banyak betul mengomel dan merungut. Tak reti bersyukur. Semuanya gara-gara sikap rakan sekerjaku yang lebih senior yang tidak mahu bertanggungjawab.

“She helped me review half of the patients in isolation room.When it comes to patient number 8, she just dumped the responsibility to me when she saw my plan in the morning was to keep in view for discharge if afebrile and lungs clear.The case was discussed earlier with another senior (more senior than her). She was the one who converted IV antibiotics to syrup and she agreed that patient is fit for discharge PM if no more fever.Of course I would not write “case discussed with Dr S” as she is also a medical officer like me, not a specialist. And I was firm enough with my decision to discharge the boy.He is clinically well, no fever, lungs clear and her mother was super keen on discharge, she has been asking for it for days already. I’m afraid she will ask for AOR discharge tonight if we still keep the boy in the ward. Pity the oncall person. And that “senior” kept asking me about the discharge and proposed that I make it AOR discharge instead. She even called to find out who was the specialist on call. Perghh…if you can lift up the phone to find out about the specialist on call, why don’t you just call and present the case if you really want it to be an AOR discharge! And if you think that patient is not safe to be discharge, why don’t you step forward and do something about it, not just dumped it on me and then became busy body.  S was right , she likes to act like a specialist. The staff nurse said to me,”Kesian, doctor kena buli.” I replied her,” takpa, saya doa saja banyak-banyak.”

I believe and still strongly believe that WHAT YOU GIVE YOU GET BACK, and WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND. Eh, macam tajuk lagu pula.Yeah, that will happen to her. She always dumped everything that is hard or more difficult to me. Her reason…”you’re the most junior, so you have to do it. Last time I also had the same thing.”

Okay, do you repeat the bad things people did to you to other person? It’s like buat jahat dibalas jahat. So if you call them jahat, so who/what are you? You don’t forget that life is like a wheel, sometimes you’re on top, sometimes you’re down there. We will see what happen to you when you go to HPP as a junior for your exams later.

Teringat aku masa di MRSM dahulu.Ragging masih wujud pada tahun 2011 itu tapi tidaklah teruk sangat apabila melibatkan perempuan.Aku tak boleh lupa perangai tidak matang seniorku yang memanggil kami berkumpul pada pukul 4 pagi semata-mata untuk marahkan pelajar yang tidak memakai kain dalam semasa berbaju kurung.Masa tu baru hari ketiga atau keempat minggu orientasi kot.Ingatlah sikit, pelajar datang dari latar belakang yang berbeza, ada yang tak pernah tahu pun kewujudan kain dalam tu.Sekurang-kurangnya bagilah masa sampai habis orientasi untuk pergi beli kain tu.Ini tidak, pakai sergah saja.Panas betul aku, nak tergelak pun ada.Masa tu lagi aku dah berjanji pada diri sendiri, apabila aku jadi senior nanti,aku takkan buat perkara-perkara bodoh ni.Nak kumpul pukul 4 pagi kenapa?

Aku juga ingat lagi bagaimana cadarku direntap kerana tak cukup stretch. Rasa macam nak menangis jugalah tengok rupa cadarku kena rentap macam tu.Masa aku jadi senior, kami cuma denda 20 sen saja, itupun wang disalurkan ke tabung blok…dan mana pernah kumpul pukul 4 pagi..cuma ada sekali warden yang panggil kumpul pukul 1 pagi sebab geram dengan kekurangan ajar sekelompok kecil pelajar masa minggu aktiviti tu..

Dalam aku dok mengomel tu, sempat juga bersiap-siap ke masjid.Alhamdulillah rasa tenang sikit lepas berjemaah Maghrib dan Isyak. Di antaranya ada kuliah berkenaan Rasulullah dan isu kalimah Allah. Rasa “lupa” sekejap pada hiruk-pikuk duniawi. Hari ni dah masuk 12 Rabiul awwal, ulangtahun kelahiran Nabi Muhammad SAW.