FEELING BETTER

Alhamdulillah, after almost two weeks of pervasive lowering of mood, tonight I felt much better, after packing up my stuff - such an early packing,just to realize that my check in lugagge had already worn out and need to be replaced or abandoned.So I decided to just bring the hand lugagge and a bagpack.

To all my friends and others affected by my mood, I am truly sorry.This is something I could not control 100%.So many things happened that I could not help myself from being depressed, especially after the death of Pak Dollah, ayah's companion.Ayah surely traumatized by the sudden news, because arwah did not suffer from any serious illness and his cause of death was unknown.He was found death on the graveyard,probably a few hours after his last breath. We, the entire family were shocked by his death,as when we heard about someone from the village had died, we thought of somebody else, but it turned out to be Pak Dollah.So Ayah had lost his surau friend.Al Fatihah.

Now it is less than a week before I headed back to Cork. Now that my homesickness had gone, a feeling of enthusiastic came by.I realized that what's waiting for me there is something big and important,but I feel that I am 70% ready to face it.May Allah help me go through it,insyaAllah.

The only thing that worries me so much is the health of my parents.For the past 3 weeks, ayah had symptoms after symptoms of illnesses.First, he had a skin condition, dry lesion,like psoariasis,he was prescribed an aqueous cream, and now improving. A week later, he complaint of gastric irritation, relieved upon taking Gaviscon.Hence,he went to see the doctor and was given ranitidine and magnesium trisiclate because public hospital did not provide a product like Gaviscon.Now he is feeling better.Just today, he had a waist problem,restraining him from rukuk properly.We tried to find the cause - carrot juice? mata kucing? sitting for too long because yesterday there was nisfu Syaaban celebration in the surau? improper sleeping/sitting position?

I hope that no other serious differential diagnoses would match his symptoms.Allah,please cure my ayah. And mak, her cough from sinusitis had never resolved.Sometimes, she had diarrhoea at midnight,which I suspected from drinking Anlene Gold before she went to bed.But who knows the real cause of it?

As for myself,apart form depression, I also suffered from cough.I was a little bit worried if the cough did not go away by my departure day, for I could be suspected H1NI.Hopefully I'll be afebrile.Now I got to end my day/night,as last night,I could only put my eyes to sleep at nearly 4 am!It's payback time!