Pada hari pertama aku bertugas di wad c11 yang hectic itu, aku menerima panggilan daripada mak, mak dan ayah sedang bersiap-siap untuk ke A&E. Pak caq sakit tenat, transferred from Hospital Balik Pulau ke sini. Aku terkejut, tapi dalam masa yang sama masih kelam-kabut menyudahkan kerja-kerja di wad. Tambahan pula, aku tiba di Pulau Pinang pukul 2 pagi semalam selepas menghantar patient ke JB dengan menaiki ambulans. Accident pula tu.Pukul 6 dah kena masuk kerja balik.
Aku tinggalkan saja wad itu tepat pukul lima petang lalu bergegas ke bahagian kecemasan. Kelihatan mak dan ayah berdiri di koridor, mak caq terduduk di lantai di samping kak ida dan ayu.Aku menyalami semuanya dan terus masuk ke red zone. Melihatkan keadaan pak caq begitu, hatiku tersentuh, terdiam seketika sebelum membuka mulut bertanyakan keadaannya kepada staff di situ. Pak caq kena jangkitan meningoencephalitis, ct brain showed no evidence of intracranial bleed. Pada mulanya mak katakan pak caq kena stroke.But it wasnt a stroke. He was intubated and unconscious.Later he was sent to c6, neurology ward. After 2 days intubated, pak caq was extubated and put on face mask oxygen. He was still drowsy, and whenever he was well, he could communicate and recall events, but at certain times, he just shut his eyes.
Mak and ayah went to visit him almost everyday. Aku pun begitu jua, lepas habis kerja terus visit dulu baru pulang ke rumah.His condition improved, soon after that he was able to take orally. But due to his poor ability to swallow, ryles tube was reinserted and iv drips was recommenced as he was dehydrated. His condition fluctuated. It was hard to say whether he would improve or not. I kept on praying, although I knew that something is coming.
After 21 days, he was discharged home. I wonder if he was really well to go home. At home, he wasn't able to walk, but could used his hand to help him move. I really prayed that he would get well and get back on his feet.We didnt visit him for nearly a week, but mak made some phone calls to acquire about his condition.
Last Tuesday, my phone rang at 5.13 am. I was surprised + blurr as my alarm was supposed to be ringing at 5.25 am. I did not dare to asnwer the call as I knew something bad is happening. Then, our home phone rang and ayah answered it. I knew it. Pak caq passed away in his sleep. My only immediate uncle. Mak's elder brother.
I called many people trying to get a replacement as I was supposed to be oncall that day. Thank God, found one.We all headed to kampung in abang's car. YB also made a quick journey home from Subang Jaya. God knows how depressed I was, my mood was super low and I was still in shock of what had happened. What a big loss. I stayed with mak most of the time, to give her support.
Kematian ini memisahkan aku dengan insan yang aku kasihi, seorang bapa saudara yang baik. Namun kematian ini juga mempertemukan aku, mak dan ayah dengan YB yang kami rindui. Ayah sampai demam sebab rindukan YB. YB patutnya balik masa krismas tapi tak jadi sebab kerja banyak. Tak berpeluang jumpa pak caq masa hayatnya. Aku nampak kesedihan dan kekesalan pada wajah YB dan isterinya. Syukur kerana dapat berjumpa buat beberapa jam, seorang abang yang sentiasa memberiku semangat tatkala aku dirundung malang menjadi house officer di sini.
Hingga saat ini aku masih merasai pemergian pak caq. Aku juga belum puas untuk bersama-sama YB dan isteri. Mujurlah hari tu kehadiran Aliff menceriakan suasana. Malah mak juga sempat ketawa melihat telatahnya walaupun berada dalam kesedihan.
Minggu lepas aku dan Goon berbicara tentang seeing a psychiatrist to treat our depression. Kebetulan ada seorang psychiatrist from GMC admitted to our ward, tak pasal-pasal aku jadi chaperone. Depressed kah kami? At least Goon ada pasangan hidupnya dan aku pula ada ermmm mak dan ayah pengubat luka.
Semalam aku on call active male ward, alhamdulillah, dapat MO yang super best, despite people were saying about Mr.L's attitude, he was nice enough last night, that I was calm and relax all the time. No palpitations. Patutnya boleh tidur from 12 to 6, tapi ada call from casualty pula, semata-mata nak tanya phone number my MO. Lepas tu dah tak boleh lelap dah. Esok on call lagi. And starting in a new ward. Bila nak start sesuatu yang baru, mesti ada a weird feeling.
My aim for this month : Zero mistakes, please. InsyaAllah.
