Pagi itu dah bertekad. Set alarm at 5.15am. Dah lama tak bangun awal pagi menghadap Kekasih. Bangun juga dengan satu lagi tujuan. Mahu buat ujian yang penting dalam kehidupan. Regardless of the result, dah determined nak proceed dengan solat tahajud.
First morning urine has the highest concentration. This time, alhamdulillah, no disappointment. Thank you Allah, I pray that this journey is a smooth and meaningful one. Still difficult to believe, but acceptance has came in.
Since Subuh prayer is late nowadays, around 5.55am, there is ample time to at least perform tahajud prayer. Semoga istiqamah!
Tuesday, August 08, 2017
Sunday, August 06, 2017
Tuesday, August 01, 2017
Negativity
Bangun pagi tadi - dapat mesej daripada pengerusi persatuan. Baby Kak F dah mula start chemotherapy. Allah….this is not a good sign. We really hope that the tumour is not malignant, but chemo….relates with malignancy. Not sure how a tiny baby…1 month old plus could survive. May the best be with Kak F and her family. At least she already had three grown ups children and a good husband!
Cases pagi pending tiga, dekat 1 pm baru dapat result. 1st patient - dah ruled out dengue, fever 38.2 tapi reaction macam 40 degrees. 2nd patient pun ruled out dengue, my colleague helped me settled it. 3rd patient urine test result showed blood 3+, suspected calculus and given appointment for KUB X ray. A bit disappointed because only finished at 1.06pm.
Afternoon session, saw my husband’s cousin for hypertension follow up. Apparently I did see her back in 2015, but of course that time I didn’t even know my husband. My husband’s sister in law also came at 11am, took medicine for her right big toe. A wife to a patient greeted me…she is Ashyikin’s mother, whom I called Mak Lang. She could still recognise me despite me wearing face mask. Ashyikin is currently staying with her husband in Kulim and still wanting for kids after 1.5 years of marriage…
Thinking of that, I know that I am not alone. We are the chosen one, who need to wait a little bit longer for the joy to come.
Driving back home, I used the highway. initially I wanted to go to car wash but the mood flew away! It was a weeping drive again…I kept thinking, why can’t I get what other people get so easily??? The drive felt short, I wished I could drive a little bit longer. “The rain" still pouring down.
Even until after Isyak prayer, I couldn’t stop myself from weeping. It was just too sad! Before prayer I just had a quick look into Facebook, and guess what, a junior of mine, who already has two cute girls, just gave birth to her third child! I was speechless. how unique Allah has arranged our destiny. Those with one, two, three kids…just have or will have another one. Those without any…remain to live without any…those who just had their first, had it with easiness…no mishaps…no challenges…
Allahu…You knew my heart even before I knew it. Put an end to my sadness Ya Rahman… I really need it. At the time being, everything pointing out towards negativity….
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)