Sedar tak sedar hari ni sudah 18 Disember 2011. Rasa bagai baru semalam aku menuliskan 18 November. Hampir pula terlepas untuk membayar ansuran kereta.Sudah semakin ke penghujung tahun Masihi.Entah apa yang bakal menanti kelak.
Sudah setahun lebih juga aku menjejaki alam pekerjaan. Mana sangka, cita-cita di bangku sekolah kini telah menerjah kehidupan realiti, tinggal untuk memperelokkan lagi sahaja.
Bekerja di tanah air ini memang mencabar. Lain benar cabarannya dengan di Ireland dahulu. Di sana, walaupun tidak berkesempatan makan gaji dengan Kerajaan Irish, aku sempat juga memasuki Health System mereka yang ternyata lebih dekat di hati pesakit dan pekerja. Tak sabar menanti bila agaknya kerajaan Malaysia hendak memperkasakan Family Medicine dan menambahkan lagi bilangan government and semi-government hospitals.
Dahulu ketika di Medical School, saban tahun pasti aku akan dihantar ke periphery hospitals.Tahun kedua ada Family attachment di Douglas, sebanyak lima pertemuan diatur dengan Mr Browne yang menghidap Parkinson dan Bipolar Disorder itu.Perjalanan ke sana dengan menaiki bas nombor 6 atau 7 sungguh mendamaikan, menyusuri countryside yang lebih kampung daripada Cork itu sendiri.Sebelum pulang, acap kali aku singgah di Dunnes Store di bandar itu.
Tahun ketiga, aku dihantar ke Clonmel, sebuah lagi perkampungan Irish yang serba hijau.Perjalanan menaiki bas memakan masa sejam setengah. Kami ditempatkan di sebuah Bed and Breakfast yang sempurna dan selesa.Selalunya kami menumpang kereta kawan-kawan mahupun senior untuk ke hospital yang terletak agak jauh, di atas bukit pula tu.Sebulan di sana, aku attached dengan Geriatrics and Endocrine.Suka hospital di sana, tak begitu ramai seperti di Cork.
Masuk tahun keempat, aku ke Dungarvan untuk GP Attachment.Hanya aku dan Brian, seorang pelajar matang dari USA dihantar ke sana. Lokasi penginapan dan klinik sangat dekat, lebih-lebih lagi apabila melalui Dungarvan Shopping Centre sebagai short cut.Bertemu dengan GPs dan patients yang sangat baik.Kemudian untuk Surgery, aku dan Afzan dihantar ke Mallow, sebuah hospital kecil di atas bukit yang mendamaikan. Kami tidak begitu rajin ketika itu, jadi hari Jumaat adalah hari yang dinanti-nantikan untuk kembali ke Cork.
Final year...aku ke Clonmel sekali lagi untuk A&E attachment.Basically unit itu tidak begitu menggerunkan berbanding di sini, kadang-kala begitu sunyi tanpa kes. Bila berlaku kes besar macam gun shooting, kami pula tiada kerana pulang berhujung minggu.Kami berempat dihantar ke sana, aku, Peter (yang kemudiannya masuk wad selama 10 hari kerana subarachnoid haemorrhage), Aoife Turner (yang telah digoda oleh Registrar di situ sampai mencarinya di BnB) dan Jean (Miss Cork 2008 yang sebelum itu baru sembuh daripada seizures).Kemudian untuk GP attachment, aku ke Mallow sekali lagi, kali ni lebih berada di bandar yang kecil itu, hanya sekali aku berjalan selama hampir sejam ke hospital untuk sesi bersama physiotherapy.
Sengaja aku coretkan memori ketika peripheral attachment dahulu, agar tidak luput di ingatan.Honestly I enjoyed being in Ireland no matter how difficult my life was before.No matter how easy my life now, being in my own place, things are just not comparable...
Aku juga appreciate keindahan bumi Allah di tempat-tempat lain sekitar Ireland. Antaranya Dublin yang serba maju dan dihujani oleh ribuan manusia, Limerick yang terkenal dengan kes-kes jenayahnya namun masih bisa menggamit hati atas keindahannya, Waterford yang mungkin hanya dua kali kujejaki tapi penuh bermakna, Wexford yang mempertautkan satu ikatan cukup bermakna, serta Galway yang juga kampung seperti Cork. Cuma Belfast yang tidak sempat kujejak...Teringat pula pada Cliff of Moher, tempat pilihan Westlife membuat video clip mereka, Ichydoney Beach..tempat kami bertiga berkelana, yang kemudiannya diperkenalkan kepada ayah, mak dan YB tatkala mereka berada di bumi Ireland dahulu, serta Clonakilty yang meninggalkan seribu satu kenangan...
Kini semua kenangan itu pasti tetap kukenang, dan aku akan teruskan langkahan kakiku untuk ,mengejar apa yang harus kukejar..
Jumaat lalu ketika di kedai buku, aku terpandang pada sebuah buku bertajuk,"Masih Bujang? Relakslah..." Menarik tajuknya tapi aku tidak terpanggil untuk membaca atau membelinya.Aku bersyukur atas nikmat bujang yang Allah berikan, ia umpama "waktu lapang sebelum sibuk".Masa yang ada ini dapat kugunakan sebaiknya untuk sesuatu yang mungkin tidak akan dapat dilakukan lagi setelah berumah tangga kelak. Namun, aku hormati dan gembira dengan rakan-rakan serta juniors yang telah pun berumah tangga pada usia muda.
Aku percaya bahawa Allah itu lebih tahu bila waktu yang sesuai untuk kita mengubah status diri. Jika aku mahu, Dia lebih tahu, jika Dia mahu, aku tidakkan tahu...
Bila aku bawa mak dan ayah ke kenduri, soalan yang sama orang tanya, " tak kerjakah hari ni?"...Wah...bosan sungguh mahu menjawabnya, balik-balik kerja juga yang dibicarakan, jika aku bekerja, tidak muncullah aku di kenduri itu.Sekarang ni ke mana-mana pun mereka melihat aku bersama mak dan ayah, kelibat abang-abang tiada lagi, benarkah satu hubungan menjadi renggang apabila satu hubungan lagi dijalinkan?
Sunday, December 18, 2011
Thursday, December 08, 2011
Bits and Pieces
I have been in this new department for more than a month. I started with the toughest ward, followed by the so-called chill ward, but not to our team apparently !
My main concern before I join the department was how do I deal with the frequency of patients needing resuscitation, especially during oncall times? Now, resuscitating patients are part of my routines!
Patient collapsed
When patient undergoing haemodialysis suddenly developed hypotension, and your MO was unreachable, all you do is to withold the dialysis and start inotropes, since the patient can't tolerate fluid resuscitation. Here in this department, you work more independently, when you can't contact your MO, you better do something, as long as patient survives!
When initiating resuscitation, remove your white coat and the hanging name tag, but make sure your stethescope is reachable.Emergency trolley must be pushed to the bed, pull the curtain, put on cardiac monitor, ask the nurses to prepare adrenaline/atropine and ask them to call MO.
On our first day in this ward, two patients collapsed and unable to revive :(
Today, a patient collapsed for the second time, at about the same time as yesterday. I joined in the team to help, and alhamdulillah, during my chest compression, patient's heart beat came back and he survived. What important is not the outcome, but the effort you have put into. I could have just walked away and let my oncall colleague handle it but what if the patient is your relative, would you stay and help all out or leave?
Misi oh Misi
Tired of being called Misi. I don't look down on Misi, never do I, or will I, but I just can't tolerate those who simply call us, the female HOs, "Misi" just because we are all female like the nurses. Yesterday, while me and Vadi were doing morning reviews, a man came asking about his father's diapers size. He spoke English (that means he is somehow educated), but he called us NURSE.My friend spontaneously answered him, "We are not nurses, we are doctors. The nurses are there, you can ask them". The man was like, "oh, uh..uh".Seeing him in "shock", I just gave him some advice about the diapers (since I am taking care of my grandma, I know some things about adult diapers).
Today, a son in law came to me asking about his father in law.He called me Misi.I said, " I am not Misi." He laughed..then continued asking the questions.Okay, fine, maybe he came from a village and not that educated. I could tolerate that. In the evening, he came again, calling me Misi.My oncall colleague corrected him, "Ini bukan Misi, ini doktor." He still laughed and continued asking.So, what do we call this?
When we were walking to the auditorium for a meeting, a woman stopped my colleague by calling her Misi.She wanted to ask something, My friend just smiled and responded to her query.Ehem, my friend is a tall, slim girl who really have the look as a doctor. But still...?
Consultant Who Needs A Moral Education Class
He is a consultant radiologist but he acts like a billionaire who doesn't mix with people. Every time when you went to see him for some imaging, he will just ignore you totally. Like you are begging for his money. Like he pays for all the imagings.My friend who went to see her earlier just showed the imaging form in front of his face after he ignored her once and just walked away.Me, being a bit more patience, I just waited and waited, standing there like nobody business, until another consultant radiologist came and asked me, and I finally got the approval from the other consultant who wasn't even in charge of CT that day!
In the evening, I was supposed togo and get another outpatient appointment for my patient but I specifically told my MO that I can only take the next day as I can't tolerate one more "mute moments" from the consultant. He understood (maybe he had experience it before) and allowed me to go the next day. Alhamdulillah, I got an early appointment by a better radiologist the next day.
Weddings
I sincerely apologize to all my friends who invited me to their weddings, but I couldn't make it.My classmates in MRSM got married last weekend but I was working all day. My colleague last minutely invited me to his wedding in Kedah but I couldn't go as well. My junior who got married few months ago and currently pregnant - I started tagging in my last department during her reception and I started oncall in that department on her husband's reception day. My Indian colleague's wedding on Wednesday last month - also I couldn't go as I was working PM shift till 10 pm (but I only went back at 11.30pm).I was also working till 5 pm on my secondary school friend, who invited me 2 days prior to her wedding via SMS.
Again, I apologize for all my absence. And to those who did not invite me (because they invite via Facebook but I don't own one), I don't feel left out, but instead, I am thankful that I did not receive the invitation, hence, I don't have the responsibility to go...
Hoping and giving up
Unsure how and when, but I really have high hopes to go to Kelantan, particularly a few places...The best time to go is before the general election...
And I am giving up on something that I think is not meant for me.Once its deleted from my life, it can never be retrieved back.I think this is the best.
My main concern before I join the department was how do I deal with the frequency of patients needing resuscitation, especially during oncall times? Now, resuscitating patients are part of my routines!
Patient collapsed
When patient undergoing haemodialysis suddenly developed hypotension, and your MO was unreachable, all you do is to withold the dialysis and start inotropes, since the patient can't tolerate fluid resuscitation. Here in this department, you work more independently, when you can't contact your MO, you better do something, as long as patient survives!
When initiating resuscitation, remove your white coat and the hanging name tag, but make sure your stethescope is reachable.Emergency trolley must be pushed to the bed, pull the curtain, put on cardiac monitor, ask the nurses to prepare adrenaline/atropine and ask them to call MO.
On our first day in this ward, two patients collapsed and unable to revive :(
Today, a patient collapsed for the second time, at about the same time as yesterday. I joined in the team to help, and alhamdulillah, during my chest compression, patient's heart beat came back and he survived. What important is not the outcome, but the effort you have put into. I could have just walked away and let my oncall colleague handle it but what if the patient is your relative, would you stay and help all out or leave?
Misi oh Misi
Tired of being called Misi. I don't look down on Misi, never do I, or will I, but I just can't tolerate those who simply call us, the female HOs, "Misi" just because we are all female like the nurses. Yesterday, while me and Vadi were doing morning reviews, a man came asking about his father's diapers size. He spoke English (that means he is somehow educated), but he called us NURSE.My friend spontaneously answered him, "We are not nurses, we are doctors. The nurses are there, you can ask them". The man was like, "oh, uh..uh".Seeing him in "shock", I just gave him some advice about the diapers (since I am taking care of my grandma, I know some things about adult diapers).
Today, a son in law came to me asking about his father in law.He called me Misi.I said, " I am not Misi." He laughed..then continued asking the questions.Okay, fine, maybe he came from a village and not that educated. I could tolerate that. In the evening, he came again, calling me Misi.My oncall colleague corrected him, "Ini bukan Misi, ini doktor." He still laughed and continued asking.So, what do we call this?
When we were walking to the auditorium for a meeting, a woman stopped my colleague by calling her Misi.She wanted to ask something, My friend just smiled and responded to her query.Ehem, my friend is a tall, slim girl who really have the look as a doctor. But still...?
Consultant Who Needs A Moral Education Class
He is a consultant radiologist but he acts like a billionaire who doesn't mix with people. Every time when you went to see him for some imaging, he will just ignore you totally. Like you are begging for his money. Like he pays for all the imagings.My friend who went to see her earlier just showed the imaging form in front of his face after he ignored her once and just walked away.Me, being a bit more patience, I just waited and waited, standing there like nobody business, until another consultant radiologist came and asked me, and I finally got the approval from the other consultant who wasn't even in charge of CT that day!
In the evening, I was supposed togo and get another outpatient appointment for my patient but I specifically told my MO that I can only take the next day as I can't tolerate one more "mute moments" from the consultant. He understood (maybe he had experience it before) and allowed me to go the next day. Alhamdulillah, I got an early appointment by a better radiologist the next day.
Weddings
I sincerely apologize to all my friends who invited me to their weddings, but I couldn't make it.My classmates in MRSM got married last weekend but I was working all day. My colleague last minutely invited me to his wedding in Kedah but I couldn't go as well. My junior who got married few months ago and currently pregnant - I started tagging in my last department during her reception and I started oncall in that department on her husband's reception day. My Indian colleague's wedding on Wednesday last month - also I couldn't go as I was working PM shift till 10 pm (but I only went back at 11.30pm).I was also working till 5 pm on my secondary school friend, who invited me 2 days prior to her wedding via SMS.
Again, I apologize for all my absence. And to those who did not invite me (because they invite via Facebook but I don't own one), I don't feel left out, but instead, I am thankful that I did not receive the invitation, hence, I don't have the responsibility to go...
Hoping and giving up
Unsure how and when, but I really have high hopes to go to Kelantan, particularly a few places...The best time to go is before the general election...
And I am giving up on something that I think is not meant for me.Once its deleted from my life, it can never be retrieved back.I think this is the best.
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