Thursday, December 20, 2012

Sawah Padi

image

Sebelum ni aku selalu kagum apabila melalui kawasan sawah padi. Aku envy orang-orang yang duduk di kampung-kampung. Kini tidak lagi,....pemandangan dari tingkap bilikku cukup mendamaikan. Bendang hijau terdampar luas, menenangkan jiwa. Subhanallah. Aku lebih tenang di sini.

P/S alhamdulillah, post call today with 4 admissions...thank you Allah.
[]
posted from Bloggeroid

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

First Call Symptoms

My first call, only Allah knows how I feel.
Butterfly in my stomach.
Heart palpitations.
Even my pockets felt vibrating even though mobile phone is out on the table.
Bowel feels like having diarrhoea.
Vertigo on and off.

Allah, please ease my call.

Okay, lets revise till midnight.

posted from Bloggeroid

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Kosong

Dinner malam ni ialah sup kosong - literally sup kosong, air sahaja dengan rasa ayam dan garam, dengan air ribena. Kasihan, orang lain makan besar lepas dapat bonus setengah bulan gaji, aku makan sorang2 begini. Nasib badan hidup membujang begini, tambah pula banyak duit dihabiskan untuk proses perpindahan.

Esok - My first solo call as the so called paediatrician !!!!
Bismillahirrahmanirrahim....

posted from Bloggeroid

Monday, December 17, 2012

Pindah !!!

Alhamdulillah,syukur akhirnya aku hidup berdikari setelah dua tahun lebih dimanjakan oleh mak dan ayah. Rindu perasaan ini. Setelah enam tahun di perantauan,setahun di kolej dan dua tahun di sekolah berasrama penuh,kini aku kembali merantau. Bukanlah jauh mana pun,tapi perasaan itu yang berharga!

Rasa bagai dalam filem Istanbul Aku Datang...apabila watak utama wanitanya gembira menemui rumah sewa yang cantik. Itulah yang kurasa. Cuma kasihan mak yang perlu menguruskan Tok sendirian. Semoga Allah memelihara kedua orang tuaku di sana sebaik mungkin...





posted from Bloggeroid

Saturday, December 15, 2012

Perpisahan Yang Mempertemukan II

Malam Sabtu lalu kami berkampung di Balik Pulau. Tidur bergelimpangan di ruang tamu. Tiada rasa segan, semuanya saudara dekat belaka. Sukar melelapkan mata di tempat baru dengan keadaan terang benderang begitu. Hanya dua hari kemudian aku terasa kesannya pada bahagian belakangku akibat salah tidur.

Keesokan paginya aku dilanda ujian yang mencabar. Keretaku masuk ke dalam tanah lembut dan hanya dapat dikeluarkan sejam kemudian! Itupun setelah datangnya pertolongan daripada orang kampung yang lebih senior. Macam 4x4 challenge! Habis keretaku bermandi pasir.

Jenazah dimandikan pada jam 9 pagi. Aku menyimpan hasrat untuk turut sama membantu, itukan mak cikku juga, namun pengendali itu tidak membenarkan orang lain selain daripada anak-anaknya. Jam 10.20 pagi, jenazah selamat dikapankan. Sebak rasa melihat sepupu-sepupuku mengalirkan airmata tatkala melihat wajah ibu mereka buat kali terakhir...betapa tidak bersedianya aku andai ini berlaku padaku.... Kami menyusul ke kubur. Jenazah dikuburkan bersebelahan dengan kubur arwah pak caq. DaripadaNya kita datang, kepadaNya jua kita kembali. Semoga roh mak caq dicucuri rahmat...

Kami berkonvoy dua kereta pulang ke rumah petang itu...sempat menghadiri walimah sahabatku sebelum settle down di rumah... YB dan isterinya sempat sampai sebelum jenazah dikafankan. Alhamdulillah, hampir 4 bulan tidak bertemua, akhirnya perpisahan dengan si mati ini telah menemukan semula kami sekeluarga. Satu nikmat yang Allah ambil, satu lagi nikmat digantikanNya. Sayangnya Allah pada hamba hambaNya.

posted from Bloggeroid

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Perpisahan Yang Mempertemukan

Sabtu lalu mak caq pergi meninggalkan kami. Aku bersyukur, sempat melawatnya ketika hayat masih ada hari Jumaat itu. Arwah kelihatan lebih teruk daripada sebelumnya namun aku tidak sangka dia akan dijemput Ilahi hanya sehari selepas itu.

Hari sabtu itu aku excited sebab best friendku bakal bernikah. Paginya bangun dengan rasa segar dan tidak mengantuk langsung. Lagipun sudah lama aku tidak berweekend off. Namun tengah harinya aku terlelap dek kesan syrup Benadryl. Langsung aku tidak menduga berita buruk bakal menyusul.

Petangnya akad nikah berlangsung dengan lancar. Pukul 6, sedang kami bersiap-siap mahu meninggalkan Masjid Bagan Jermal untuk ke Masjid al-Huda (kuliah Maghrib Ustaz Azhar Idrus), aku dikejutkan oleh panggilan telefon daripada mak yang mengatakan bahawa mak caq telah tiada. Aku bergegas ke hospital. Mak dan ayah juga segera ke hospital dengan motosikal. Abang dan kakak ipar juga bergegas ke hospital sebaik mendengar perkhabaran itu. Kami bertemu di hospital namun jenazah sudah dalam perjalanan ke rumahnya. Thanks to our PM who came to Tanjung Tokong and congested the traffic!!!

posted from Bloggeroid

Monday, December 03, 2012

Paeds

Paediatrics!!!
Allah certainly has better plans for me.
At the very last minute, I decided to apply for ENT? Out of a sudden. He department was full anyway. So, Medical or Paeds or Obstetrics? Each of the options has the pros and cons. Lets not think about it.

Okay Paeds Protocol, here I come!

I am currently still in denial phase, as usual, so I have no coments yet.

posted from Bloggeroid

Saturday, November 24, 2012

DENIAL

Allahuakbar, alhamdulillah....
Despite the news on Gaza ceasefire (which was good), here comes another big news. Things that I've awaited for has come. The results for placement are out!!!!

Today before work, I was a bit stressed, thinking that I'll be working in Green Zone.However when I reached the zone, I felt a bit relieved as it wasn't that busy. Ten minutes later, we heard the news about the placement. One by one started calling JKN. My news came later, at 4.20pm. Nah...they are sending me to district hospital.

Frustrated? Yes, as I was really hoping to get a good life in health clinic. Thankful? Yes, as finally I can leave ED HPP !! And I also get to go outside my hometown, live my own life and enjoy the excitement of balik kampung! Worry? Yes, thinking that I'll be working non stop till next Saturday, how am I going to survey for house/ room and prepare for my new life?

I am still in denial, I just couldn't believe it that I'm going there...I have not broken the news to my parents yet. They must be sad in a way that I no longer will be with them at home everyday. And I couldn't help much in taking care of my grandmother anymore.

Okay, tonight I went home late as usual. I was so determined to punch out at sharp 10 so that I could reach home by at least 10.20, unfortunately I was stucked with a patient. I had to discharge her...her blood results came back normal, and her sons kept asking me about her progress.She improved after some medications and 2 pints of normal saline. I really hope that she would be fine, please don't come back to ED with worsening of symptoms...I hope she recovers well. May Allah give back her health.

Monday, November 19, 2012

Pray For Gaza

GAZA diserang lagi. Entah apa mahunya Israel laknatullah ini.Ada pendapat yang mengatakan bahawa kebangkitan Islam baru-baru ini menyebabkan Israel rasa tercabar dan mahu menunjuk-nunjukkan kuasanya kembali. Ada pula yang mengaitkan dengan kemenangan Barrack Obama.Wallahualam. Ini adalah isu kemanusiaan, bukan lagi isu keagamaan.Seluruh manusia dari segenap pelusuk dunia bangkit menyatakan bantahan terhadap keganasan zionis ini. Namun zionis kejam ini tidak pandang sebelah mata. Amerika yang kononnya berkuasa besar itu juga tidak dapat berbuat apa-apa.

Kempen boikot barangan Israel kembali popular, hakikatnya terlalu banyak barangan mereka untuk diboikot.Pandang kiri, pandang kanan, pandang depan dan belakang, semuanya barangan Israel belaka.Tepuk dada, tanyalah iman. Jika tak dapat boikot semua, dapat boikot sedikit pun dah membantu.


Saturday, November 10, 2012

Rough Night

Last Thursday I worked night shift in blue zone. It was my first night shift as a medical officer. I was glad that it was only for one night, no more two nights during housemanship. I was the only MO working there with my only HO who was pregnant. Apparently the other MO who was supposed to cover blue and green zone interchangeably just came to my zone to say," you can do it. take your time to see patients", or counting the number of cards flowing in.

That night, patients poured in like nobody business. All of them decided to "visit ED" at night even though their illness started in the morning or even a few days before. Luckily the MA at triage counter was the nice one, who tolerated with us well.

I was already stucked with the first case I attended. A 35 year old lady with Hepatitis B, currently pregnant at 6 weeks, came in with PV brownish discharge. She had IUCD inserted before but positive for pregnancy.Her BP was lowish, around 98/56. Of course I would think of ectopic pregnancy!! I asked her many times whether the IUCD was removed and she denied! I quickly hydrated her and frantically looked for the scan machine. One was being used in red zone, the other one in yellow zone. Should I wait or should I transfer the patient to Yellow zone? I waited. Patient clinically stable with no abdominal pain.IVD ran fast.Finally I scanned her and confirmed by the "interchange MO". We saw IUGS. Still, it could be heterotopic pregnancy. Suddenly I encountered with a Gynae MO,oh, the red zone case was an ectopic pregnancy, going to OT really soon. I quickly presented the case to him, he scanned the patient and reconfirm the IUGS, unlikely ectopic but still need to monitor the BP. After she completed IVD, I recheck her BP and it picked up to 108/60, PR 80.Okay, unlikely ectopic. I explained to her everything only to hear her saying," sorry doctor, itu IUCD sudah kasi keluar dekat klinik dua hari lepas." What???

The other patient was a 19 year old man who presented with fever, constitutional symptoms, history of having high WBC and family history of leukaemia.He came late at night because he had no transport to come earlier. It was already 11.30pm when I saw him.I had to investigate him thoroughly only to find out that he had peritonsillar abscess.His WBC was 24. Luckily our registrar asked the red zone HO who had no case at that time to refer the case to ENT. Unluckily, the ENT MO oncall was the junior one, who just left ED. He didn't want to admit the patient but insisted on asking the patient to come to ENT clinic at 8 am later.Pity the patient, if he went back, he might have trouble with transportation again to return to the hospital. Yet at least he wasn't having leukaemia.

A father to a 6 year old girl approached me two times, asking me to see his daughter first as she was having severe abdominal pain - as the man said "sakit sampai berguling-guling". I told him that I would see her right after the current patient who was also in pain after an MVA. Okay, I should have went out and look at the child, perhaps if the pain was so severe, I should have ushered her to green 1 straight. Suddenly the MA came, so I asked him, " ada ke budak yang sakit sampai berguling-guling kat waiting area tu?" He helped me find out and informed me that the child was in pain but not sampai berguling-guling (obviously, would you do some acrobatic stunts at public?), I told him to upgrade the patient to green 1 even though I knew that green 1 was suddenly busy at that hour. The interchange MO heard us and reluctant to accept the case but I insisted, at least if she was not attended stat, she would be in an area where everybody could see her.So, the child was brought into green 1. I saw her later on, sitting on chair comfortably, perhaps after given some pain relief. As I was super busy, I forgot to ask about her diagnosis...

A 38 year old man kept pulling the curtain in blue zone and claimed that he was having severe pain. His right hand was on his hip, I thought he was having some renal colic. He insisted on us giving pain relief and see him later but I told him that I could not treat him without knowing what illness is he having. That time it was already nearly 4 am. I couldn't care more, but to continue seeing patients who came before him.Later on, my HO attended him.His main complaint was right sided lower rib pain after bouts of coughing.He claimed he had history of left rib fracture before after a chronic cough and was treated at Adventist Hospital (really???).He also told us that he already came in the morning and was seen by a Cardio MO.Fine, I asked my HO to give analgesia and sent him for CXR. I went to trace his card just to find out that he was diagnosed as non-ischaemic dilated cardiomyopathy, previously defaulted follow up at private hospital, requested for AOR discharge from the cardio MO and now returned back for another complaint.Obviously he had some problems. Problematic patient. CXR showed no rib fracture, we reassured him and discharged him.

What a rough night !

Sunday, November 04, 2012

Day 2

Alhamdulillah, ended my day 2 of life as a medical officer. I survived 2 years of housemanship and stepped up onto the next level. However, I am still stuck in the department till they have a meeting on the placement, which is sometime in the next two weeks.

Being a medical officer,you bear more responsibilities, but you also enjoyed some other privilages such as less working hours, less night shift and less patients to be seen.

I still think that our HOD should open her eyes more widely on her registrars and senior MOs. What kind of registrar who does not want to make decision after a case has been discussed with him, and still asked the MO to decide? There is no point of him being around when he even doesnt want to take responsibility? He always wanders around or just sit on a chair and gives instructions, or even worse, he talks about someone else look for hours!!

I do not think I can tolerate this any longer. These are not right!

Today a young man committed suicide by jumping off from neurosurgical ward on second floor. This guy was admitted earlier for minor intracranial bleed after an accident. Apparently his girlfriend came and broke up with him. Perhaps he was so frustrated and upset with his condition, he decided to end his life. Shattered spleen...he was still alive when they intubated him in red zone...but God knows better...his ex girfriend should feel guilty for what she had done, she could have waited till he recovers before breaking up with him.

I cant wait for the transfer, may Allah grant my wish to go to health clinic...

posted from Bloggeroid

Saturday, October 27, 2012

Rasa Bersalah

Sukar untuk melelapkan mata.Padahal penat benar membuat persiapan untuk Aidiladha. Hati dirundung rasa bersalah setelah mengetahui perkembangan hidup seorang rakan ini.

Dahulu aku pernah menjadi rapat dengannya.Kami hanya berdua pelajar Melayu dalam kelas tersebut.Dia berubah menjadi seorang yang cukup minat dan rajin belajar. Kami sering berdiskusi bersama,seringkali dia menelefon aku untuk membincangkan soalan matematik tambahan. Jika tak habis,kami sambung bincang di koridor sekolah keesokan harinya. Sampai ke tahap itu semangatnya untuk berjaya bersama-samaku.

Namun segalanya berubah setelah aku berpindah ke sekolah berasrama penuh. Dia menangis pada hari terakhir aku bersamanya di sekolah lama. Kami masih lagi berutus surat dengan kerap selama beberapa bulan selepas itu.

Dia mula berubah saat mulanya kisah cintanya dengan lelaki yang dikenalinya di pusat tuisyen. Pelajaran entah ke mana...akhirnya dia mendapat keputusan yang kurang baik dalam SPM.

Hasil pertolongan ayahnya, dia berjaya masuk ke sebuah kolej swasta namun masih kurang berjaya lalu bertukar ke IPTA. Tak lama kemudian nenek yang membesarkannya meninggal dunia. Saat itu aku sudah selamat berada di luar negara,jauh untuk aku memberi sokongan dan menemani malam-malam kesedihannya. Kami makin jarang berhubung...

Dia pindah ke rumah ayah dan ibu tirinya. Keadaan jadi semakin tidak terkawal. Dia semakin kurang memelihara suruhan agama. Gambar tidak menutup aurat dipaparkam dalam blognya. Lama kelamaan tudung di kepala hilang terus. Sayang...dia cantik sekali, persis Wardina Safiyah, namun akhlaknya tak dapat dipelihara secantik itu.

Mungkinkah hidupnya akan lebin baik andai aku tidak berpindah sekolah, andai neneknya belum meninggal dunia, andai dia tidak berpindah ke kota metropolitan itu yang serba menggoda?

Kini dia tidak lagi menghubungi aku...mungkin segan agaknya...aku juga tidak menghubunginya ...masih lagi diselubungi rasa bersalah... Aku hanya mampu doakan agar Allah kurniakan semula rasa ketaatan untuk kembali kepada kehidupan Islam yang sebenar....Amin.

posted from Bloggeroid

Monday, October 22, 2012

Oh My ED !

Zero entry in September !!! This shows how depressed and stressed I was, working in this department. Apparently I made a wrong decision. I should have gone to the other department in the first place....Now that things are getting better and less stressful, I am back to this journal. A few important entries that I should include here.

OH MY EMERGENCY DEPARTMENT

Such a disappointment!

One, the bosses. Hmm...I don't feel safe here. Usually specialist will be the one backing us up but not in this department.Here, one of them likes to say,"Okay, you do this and that, but don't write my name there." And he also likes to say, " What? I don't know about the case, don't ask me".The other one notices your shiny pants than the ill patients. In the middle of busy day, this person could approach you and tell you that your pants are too shiny or the table is not tidy, when you are super busy with your breathless patients.
MOs? Some of them are nice to work with, they teach a lot and they treat you as a human being.One of them likes to choose her own houseman. She even labelled the housemen whom she didn't like as rubbish - this one I heard with my own ears. The other one, he would call you when you are busy seeing patient and inform you that there is another case to be seen while he went back to his chair and sit down. Erkk!!???

Two, the triage system. It is managed by the trainee MAs...I honestly do not think that these people have enough knowledge and experience to be the front liner, triaging the cases.Patients triaged as yellow still being pushed in to green zone.In the end, patient is pushed back to yellow. Patient post MVA with minor trauma, noted to be tachycardic, is triaged green 1, when other vitals are stable, and patient also clinically stable. Come on, when patient is in pain, definitely the heart rate will go faster! A complicated malnourished end stage lung carcinoma patient in wheelchair, who came in with vomiting and poor oral intake, was triaged to green 2, just because his vital signs were stable.Clinically? Very bad...and he needs admission.I totally don't agree with the triage system here.Last two weeks, the supervisor aka the boss to the MAs who has so much experience of working in ED, triaged a fainted but responsive patient to red zone.What, you wanna tube this patient? Such a disappointment.

Three, the patients. Honestly, I started disliking patients when I started to work here. Look how they abuse the emergency system.Patients are the most cruel abuser of the system! They simply call the ambulance to pick up their elderly parent, who complaint of knee pain for one month, left the elderly in ED and not bother to accompany their own parent. Do they think government hospital is an old folks home or a charity home? Some people called ambulance to send their father to hospital because the father is vomiting, so they don't want him to dirty their car. What??? They call ambulance for non-emergency purposes, just because here, the service is free and it is provided for everyone...but the more annoying one is when they call public ambulance, and when the ambulance arrive, they ask the staff to send patient to private hospital like der??? Please at least have the effort to call the operator and ask for the private hospital number. Patients also abuse the triage system, they know that if they said they are having chest pain, they will be ushered in straight away to green 1.So, even for simple URTI, they will complain of chest pain, so that they will be seen immediately. In the end, the resources will be wasted, we will investigate like everything, from ECG to bloods..to realize that patient actually is the best actor ever! There are so many more real stories about these abusers but just not worth writing them.

Four, the shift system. Initially I thought that working in shift will be better but no!!!I hate the shift hours and definitely I am not a shift person. Post night means you only can go home at 9 o'clock and that is very late already. When your GCS is already dropping, you still have to see patients at 7 am because your morning colleagues only start at 8 am.

For the last two weeks, my friends and I were in a deep depressed state. All because of logbook, clinical exams and whatever requirements the department wants us to fulfill.Luckily alhamdulillah we managed to settle them all. I was down with fever with bad URTI that time.All my energy was used to fight the illness and I had to strive to complete all the assignments.

Now that everything has been submitted, I feel much relieved and calm, just waiting for another two days before I stop working as a houseman, go for a long leave and upgrade to a medical officer, insyaAllah.

*** All the above writing is my personal point of views

.....journal to be continued

Saturday, August 04, 2012

No ringing

Here in this department,my phone was never rang.One,my phone network has no coverage until I get out of the place.Two, the department is small,so you can just walk around to find each other.Three, you'll be stucked to your zone until your shift ends as it is too busy to come out for a break.So no one will need to call your phone to look for you.

posted from Bloggeroid

Thursday, July 26, 2012

Crisis

In crisis...desperately need to stand tall again.
Allah, show me the way, and make me steadfast in your path.

Deep breath in...out...

Saturday, July 21, 2012

Jabatan Lama

Rindu pula pada jabatan lama.Kan best kalau bulan Ramadhan jatuh masa rotation Orthopaedics,mesti hari-hari dapat berbuka puasa di rumah kecuali tiga empat hari night shift ...sekarang ni kalau pm or night shift mesti terlepas tarawih...

posted from Bloggeroid

Sunday, July 15, 2012

Menjelangnya Ramadhan


Writing gives me spirit, inspiration and motivation.Yet when heart does not feel like pouring it out, I do not write.

Sekarang dah Syaaban, dekat sangat dengan Ramadhan.Alhamdulillah, dikurniakan sedikit rasa tak sabar mahu menikmati Ramadhan pada tahun ini, tidak seperti tahun lepas yang penuh dengan kegusaran.Kali ini persediaan awal telah dibuat.Puasa telah dilazimkan, maka tiada lagi rasa penat atau lelah berpuasa semasa bekerja. Alah bisa tegal biasa.Semoga Ramadhan kali ini lebih baik, insyaAllah.Yang satu itu harus dicari.Tahun ini nampaknya perlu mencari lokasi baru untuk bertarawih...

Menjelang Ramadhan, kesihatan mula mencabar diri.Tahun lepas, aku dihinggapi pneumonia yang kemudiannya menghinggapi mak hingga masuk wad hampir seminggu.Allah saja yang tahu perasaanku..sehari selepas mak masuk wad, aku terpaksa buat oncall 24 hours.Mujurlah abang-abangku pulang menemani ayah. Sekarang pun pelbagai dugaan kesihatan melanda.Batuk yang menyerang berminggu-minggu belum lagi sembuh.Semalam aku cuti tapi aku habiskan dengan tidur-bangun-tidur.Rehat secukupnya.Berbaloi, keesokannya aku rasa lebih sihat.Minggu lepas kena allergic reaction secondary to unknown allergen.Sampai aku tukar habis segala bedsheet, pillowcase, towel etc sekembalinya daripada tagging pukul 10 malam tu.Sekarang ni mak pula tak begitu sihat, ya Allah, peliharalah kesihatannya.

Motivation is at its lowest level, desperately working hard to optimize it.
Wondering when will He give me the gift?





Friday, July 06, 2012

Petechial Rash

Allahuakbar....
Today morning while getting ready to work, I realized that my whole upper chest was full with red spots.After a more thorough check up, noted a lot of petechial rash all over my face, trunk and upper limbs.What is happening???

I've been feeling feverish at night for the past one week and dry cough for a month...
My MO asked me to do chest X-ray and Mantoux test to rule out TB...
I did FBC stat which was painful (I almost made a drama, hahah), which came back perfectly normal, no such thing as ITP...perhaps just viral fever..
Some said its allergic...well, what is the allergen?
Dengue? No documented fever...no other symptoms...even though my housing area is a dengue prone area...

I've been thinking about the possible allegens...
I've been taking Erythromycin for a week, just one more dose left, so I just stop taking it.
I've not used any new facial wash or cream or soap or lotion...
The water in my house is not contaminated "clinically"...
Seafood? Why suddenly? After 20 plus years of life?
The only new food is the Nesvita drink which I drink every morning for four days as my energy source...so I shall stop taking it...

Perhaps some immunodeficiency thing...I should do biohazard test since I'm at risk from my profession...

Today I came home from the tiring tagging...I changed everything on my bed - bedsheet, pillow case etc
I stop using any facial products...
I washed my face only using water from the tap, not the one collected in the basin...
What else to do...?
What if tomorrow I wake up with worsening rashes...?

I'm documenting this down, in case anything happens to me, someone will know the chronology...

This is my first presentation, I've never had it before
It is not itchy, but it bothers me so much especially when it involves my face...

May He heal me sooner...

Sunday, July 01, 2012

Kisah...

Pagi nanti final Euro 2012 Spain vs Italy.Ada aku kisah? Yang kukisahkan ialah esok bermulanya posting baru.Tempat baru,suasana baru,orang baru.

posted from Bloggeroid

Saturday, June 23, 2012

JEREBU

Akhirnya kekecewaan berulang kembali.Kepulangan yang diharapkan tidak juga berlaku.Tidak mengapa, hidup harus diteruskan...sambil minum teh dengan susu tepung omega tanpa gula.

CUTI

Alhamdulillah...setelah bekerja selama 21 hari tanpa henti, akhirnya cuti pun bermula.Rasa lega sangat.Lepas sehari cuti dah rasa macam tak mahu kembali ke tempat kerja.Erghh...betulkah kerjaya yang kupilih ini?
InsyaAllah betul....Allah dah letakkan setiap orang pada tempat yang terbaik baginya, cuma kita yang perlu berusaha lebih untuk mencantikkan tempat itu.Dia lebih mengetahui.

JEREBU

Cuaca panas...udara pula tercemar, memang satu kombinasi yang buruk, lebih-lebih lagi untuk orang berparu-paru fragile macam diri ini.Mulalah batuk menyerang..berserta dengan penatnya.Rakanku selamba menyarankan agar aku ambil air banyak-banyak, dalam erti kata lain, masuk cannula di tangan, pastu galas beg berisi dua gelen air sebagai sumber.Terbaiklah cadangan itu, akan dipertimbangkan :)

SAMBUTAN HARI BAPA

Alhamdulillah, dapat sekali lagi menyambut hari bapa untuk ayah yang dikasihi.Sejak awal bulan lagi aku dah request no call and no review on 17th June.Jadinya dapatlah cuti sehari.Pagi aku membawa mak dan ayah breakfast di tempat favourite kami.Mak kerja petang...jadi petangnya kami tak ke mana-mana..Abang long menduduki peperiksaan pada hari itu, jadi tak dapat balik rumah.Abang Ngah, jangan cakaplah...

Cuma hari ini baru kami membeli hadiah untuk ayah...sebuah dompet baru.Ada satu lagi dinner untuk ayah yang belum tertunai.

UKHUWAH KERANA ALLAH DAN RASUL

Terbaca tweet dari I Luv Islam, indahnya berukhuwah kerana Allah dan Rasul.Dah lama tak diperingatkan akan kata-kata ini sehinggalah sesuatu terjadi melibatkan seorang rakan bukan beragama Islam.Bukan ingin menyalahkan agamanya, cuma alangkah baiknya jika persahabatan kami dijalinkan atas dasar Allah dan Rasul, maka mesti dia akan lebih faham dan bijak menangani situasi tertentu dan mengelakkan daripada bermasam muka.

Bercakap pasal ukhuwah, diri ini sedar bahawa betapa jarangnya berkhuwah sejak bekerja ni.Sahabat-sahabat lama dah jarang dihubungi..apa khabar agaknya mereka? InsyaAllah perlahan-lahan akan cuba ditautkan kembali hati-hati yang terpisah.Jangan tunggu sampai nak jemput kenduri baru nak contact, ye dak?

Satu lagi kelemahan diri ialah mudah lupa nama orang, apabila dah lama tak ketemu.Minggu lepas, tiba-tiba ada orang tegur, Kak Jam, JKKK kat MRSM Taiping dulu? Erk...junior kat sekolah rupanya, sekarang dah jadi junior kat tempat kerja.Rasa bersalah sebab tak ingat nama dia.Sesetengah orang ada kelebihan mengingati nama orang lain, ada pula yang mudah ingat nombor telefon, nombor plat kenderaan,...aku ada?

PILIHANRAYA

SOooo obvious...bila dekat pilihanraya ni, mulalah kedengaran di sana-sini, orang ini buruk, orang ini baik.Segala cerita dalam kelambu pun keluar, dulunya senyap saja? Setiap orang ada pilihan dan pendiriannya mengikut pemahaman dan pengetahuannya.Pilihlah yang kita rasa benar, jangan jadi orang berkecuali, kerana negara kita tanggungjawab kita.Jangan nanti lepas dah penat memerintah, baru nak kutuk pemimpin, yang dulunya tidak mengundi, tidak mengambil tahu, apahal?

Ringkasnya pilihlah yang jujur dan amanah, yang memerintah berlandaskan sesuatu yang utuh (misalnya agama), yang memimpin ke arah masa depan (akhiratlah yang paling depan)...tak perlu mengungkit lagi bahawa kumpulan ini pernah berjasa itu dan ini,yang itu dahulu...para pemimpin yang berjasa itu pun entah dah tiada...cuba lihat dengan mata hati...yang sekarang ini bagaimana?Jangan pula hanya fikir dunia semata-mata, akhiratnya bagaimana?

Tepuk dada, tanyalah iman....tapi jika pilihanraya ini dibuat juga pada musim haji, aku memang akan anggap pemimpin yang buat keputusan tu kurang cerdik.Dah tahu musim haji..ramai beribadat ke Makkah/Madinah, yang sibuk nak mengundi masa tu kenapa?SPR bising-bising...katanya ada tiga juta lagi rakyat belum mendaftar...tapi yang dah daftar dan yang ada kesedaran untuk mengundi ni bakal dihilangkan hak mereka, hanya kerana mereka ke tanah suci.Tapi sebenarnya, tak takutkah kalau jemaah haji yang ramai-ramai tu berdoa di tanah suci (insyaAllah makbul), minta Allah tunjukkan yang benar,dan kurniakan kemenangan kepada yang benar, silap-silap tsunami melanda lagi ni.

PIRATE

Zaman dulu-dulu, ada jugalah aku membeli vcd/dvd cetak rompak ni,maklumlah orang jenis tak jejak panggung wayang, cari dvd lah untuk menonton di rumah.Sampailah terbaca satu soal jawab ni, ustaz tu kata (tak ingat dah namanya), beli dvd pirate ni samalah macam kita bersubahat mencuri.Sebab pengeluar dvd pirate ni curi hasil karya penerbit filem, kita yang beli dvd ni umpama mencuri jugalah.Setiap perbuatan mencuri akan dipersoalkan oleh Allah di akhirat kelak.Oleh itu, hentikanlah pembelian barang-barang cetak rompak ni..memang sedap beli sebab murah, kualiti pun not bad, tapi kat akhirat nanti, sedaplah menjawab dengan Allah...

MAHER ZAIN

Baru-baru ini ada akhbar yang mengeluarkan artikel bahawa persembahan Maher Zain semasa konsertnya adalah terlalu biasa dan tiada perubahan.Alahai wartawan, tahu fikir nak berhibur saja.Untuk pengetahuan anda, Maher Zain is not an entertainer, but he is a daie. He spreads Islam through his music.Yes, perhaps he should have communicated more, used his lyrics to make people think more about Islam, but still, he sang very well.So, kalau nak rasa terhibur, silalah ke konsert lain...For every single words that he sings, insyaAllah there is reward for him, kau ada?

However, ada sedikit kecewa dengan video clip terbaru Maher Zain yang bertajuk Number One For Me tu.Memang lagu tu lebih universal, pasal seorang anak yang ingin appreciate ibunya,tapi sebagai seorang yang beragama Islam, alangkah baiknya jika wanita yang menjadi ibu di dalam video clip itu menutup aurat.Barulah nampak sedikit identiti Islam di dalam lagu itu. Anyway, sejuk hati melihat Maher Zain senyum sokmo kat "ibunya" dalam lagu tu.

ALAHAI ZED ZAIDI

Terpanggil pula untuk memberikan pendapat pasal hamba Allah seorang ni.Semuanya gara-gara tindakan "ganasnya" ke atas Aaron Aziz sampai sanggup minta permit kerja.Yang artis Singapore/Indonesia lain bagaimana, bang Zed? Setahu aku masa zaman P.Ramlee dulu ramai artis Singapura telah bertakhta di sini.Tak jadi isu pun? Baguslah bila dia kata nak perjuangkan nasib artis tempatan, tapi bukanlah dengan cara menyerang artis-artis luar ni.Kalau inginkan pelumba lari kita berjaya, bukannya dengan mencantas kaki pelumba-pelumba lain, tapi kenalah melatih pelumba kita melalui latihan intensif sehabis baik, bukan?

Isunya di sini bang Zed, lihatlah kerosakan dan keruntuhan akhlak yang berlaku di kalangan artis kita.Yang bertudung ramai (alhamdulillah, lambat laut sempurnalah penutupan aurat tu), tapi yang bersosial melebihi artis Hollywood pun ramai juga.Artis Melayu-Islam tidak segan silu mengaku seronok ke kelab, dan akan pergi lagi bila ada jemputan (erk?), artis pakai baju tak cukup kain, kalah Lady Gaga, artis mabuk (betulkah, wallahualam), artis peluk sana sini, artis bercerai-berai ...maaf cakap, semua ini juga berlaku dalam masyarakat biasa, tapi dah namanya artis, yang sepatutnya jadi public figure..mestilah gejala ini sangat membimbangkan.Bang Zed terlepas pandangkah?Sekarang dah dapat kuasa, apalagi, buat kerja yang patut anda buat dulu, nak check permit, abang-abang Imigresen ramai boleh tolong...

Sekarang bila artis masuk parti politik....perghhh...jadi berita utama tu...bila pilih yang itu,bangga bukan main, tapi bila pilih yang satu lagi...silap haribulan tutup periuk nasi dia.


Sunday, June 17, 2012

Not So Healthy

Cough secondary to haze.Fever secondary to durian.Pimples secondary to stress.Health not optimised.

Baru semalam pesan berhati-hati di jalan raya.Pagi ni pukul 1.40am berlaku kemalangan di luar rumahku.Meraung seorang perempuan ni trauma.People can choose to be safe but they just ignore the option and chose to be at risk.
posted from Bloggeroid

Saturday, June 16, 2012

Spices of Life

Setiap yang bermula pasti ada penghujungnya. Hanya tinggal sehari sahaja lagi untuk bekerja di jabatan ini.Hari Isnin ini adalah night shift terakhirku dan Selasa tengah hari aku bakal meninggalkan jabatan ini.

1. Paling chill
- benar, memang jabatan ni paling chill seperti yang dikata orang sebelum aku join lagi.Chill, jika dibandingkan dengan jabatan lain.Boleh datang pukul 7 lebih, boleh pulang tepat pukul lima,tapi aku tetap maintain 6.45am.Kadangkala pulang lewat juga especially bila rounds petang dan ada banyak procedures.Yang seniors ambil kesempatan untuk datang lewat.Malah ada yang escape review kononnya ada OT duty.Yang juniors pula relax sangat sampai kurang berusaha untuk cepat belajar.New case pun senior yang clerk,procedure pun senior yang buat, habis bila junior nak pandai?

2. Komunikasi
- paling rapat dengan MO, dan seorang dua specialist. Yang penting, aku tiada masalah dengan mana-mana MO.Yang bipolar lelaki aku jauhkan sebaik  mungkin, yang bipolar perempuan, baik pula dengan aku.Dia marah-marah orang lain, bila dengan aku terus senyum-senyum.Hahah,ada daya penarik agaknya.Dapat bekerja dengan tiga MOs, the triple F's yang paling best.Namun tak sempat bekerja dengan specialist yang berjiwa rakyat, sanggup duduk semeja dengan HOs dan buat kerja-kerja kami.Satu dalam seribu.Juga rapat dan kenal dengan semua HO.

3. Jadi chief
- Berpeluang merasa menjadi ketua selama sebulan.Serabut bila buat duty roster, tapi advantage untuk diri sendiri.Masa bulan tu specialist dan MO incharge tiada, so I was not bothered by anyone.Co-chief pula sudi buat duty roster untuk tiga minggu pertama, aku cuma pening kepala buat dua minggu terakhir.Tapi yang tak bestnya bila nak buat ward rotation, terpaksa letak ramai junior di female ward, maka adalah orang tak puas hati.Itulah lumrah kehidupan, cuba berlaku adil, namun adil itu sangatlah subjektif...dan kita hanya betul-betul faham bila berada di tempat itu...

4. Eye opener to surgery
- it is a surgical based department, dulu masa di Surgery aku tak belajar banyak sangat, maklumlah first posting.Sekarang baru celik mata tentang itu dan ini.Masa assist dalam OT pun tidak kekok lagi, tahu tugasku apa...

5. Anti-jonah
- setakat ni rekod admissionku adalah enam...harap-harap Isnin ni aku takkan pecahkan rekod itu.

6. Rapat dengan team mates
- ada beberapa individu yang aku appreciate sangat bila mengenali mereka.Aku senang bergaul dengan mereka.Mereka pun ikhlas berkawan denganku.Senang kerja bila baik dengan ramai orang, senang nak minta tolong.

7. End posting leave
- first time dapat straight 8 days plus 2 weekends leave.Dulu di Medical pun dapat 8 hari tapi kena buat oncall juga sebab semua orang pun EOD calls, tapi kini alhamdulillah, cuti pun dah approved, tinggal nak settle logbook saja.

____________________________________________________________________________

My active call in male ward yesterday:

Started with annoying call from first class female ward, a patient who had just transferred out from class 3 ward to class 1, requested to go back to the former ward, due to unable to bear the coldness from an air conditioned room.I had to travel from Block C to Block A just to counsel her.Ahhh!!!@#$%^&*

First case came in.Alleged industrial injury with degloving injury of right middle finger.Had to do toilet and suturing which was done at 1.30am.Luckily my local anaesthesia worked and he was a good obedient patient.

Second case...chronic osteomyelitis of right tibia..claims had maggots came out from the wound two days ago.He was discharged the next morning.Shouldn't admit him in the first place.

Third case...alleged MVA with open fracture bilateral lower limbs..poor this 68 year old pak cik, should be careful when riding a motorbike..he hit a stationary car and ended up with broken legs.The whole family (like a bus, maybe?) came to visit him immediately that night.Yet they were all very good visitors, did not make any problem to us.Me, my MO and the tagging MO (double F's) attended the patient and irrigated the wound together.

Fourth case...alleged fall while playing football, sustained midshaft fracture ulna radius.Poor him..needed to go for an operation.He was just playing football...

Fifth case...referred from district hospital...dislocation of PIP joint and tendon cut after his motorbike skidded..after being hit (he claimed) by a police officer.Also booked for operation.

Last case..left hip dislocation..which reduced back in place after multiple CMR...by the time he arrived in the ward, he was quite drowsy after a cocktail of sedation given...

But, the most annoying event was...the same patient who bothered me at 2 am during my last call..
We off his urinary catheter at 2pm, so at 12 am he started shouting as he was still unable to pass urine.This patient was still stucked with us as there is no bed in the periphery hospital.There is no point if we reinsert the catheter..he still fail to pass urine on his own as we would like him to do so.In the end, I put in one nice big size catheter for him, which easily went in.Hah,crystal clear urine came out nicely.

Then he was still shouting for nurses...okay, this time he wanted to defecate.Fine, go ahead...during his activity, he sounded like someone who was giving birth to a macrosomic baby :).When the urine bag was almost full, there he goes again..this time he complaint of feeling pain everytime the urine passed through the tube. He even said that the tube did not went in properly, that is why he was feeling pain. Then, the full urine bag, belongs to the uncle next bed is it?What??? Despite advise about trauma and risk of infection from frequent catheter insertion, he still insisted on removing it.Okay, the nurse removed it.Shut up.Then in the morning he claimed he passed urine three times.What???@#%^&**

Hahah, he even wanted to complaint on the MO in charge of the periphery hospital for not wanting to take him in.There is no bed, how to accept him,please think wisely uncle...

Hmm....the spices of life.Now I think healthcare workers should start complaining about our customers...instead of them complaining on us...we have our right, right?

Saturday, June 09, 2012

EVENTFUL WEEK

Astaghfirullah al azim...Astaghfirullah al azim...
Lunak alunan suara zikir terapi diri yang kupasang setiap hari di dalam kereta sewaktu pergi dan pulang dari kerja.Dapat mendamaikan sedikit jiwa yang kusut. Minggu yang begitu eventful.

Aku bersyukur kerana berakhir sudah satu tanggungjawab yang dipikul selama sebulan.Walaupun aku cuba low profile as low as I could, mereka tetap nampak aku.Maka terpikullah amanah sebagai HO leader yang tidak pernah langsung aku impikan.Namun aku bersyukur kerana tidak diganggu langsung oleh Specialist mahupun MO in charge kerana kedua-duanya tiada pada bulan lepas.Namun selepas semuanya berakhir, tidak semena-mena namaku masih disebut-sebut sebagai ketua.Ward rotation pun masih menyuruh aku untuk aturkannya.Masih menyebut-nyebut namaku sebagai chief.Jika beri wang seribu ringgit pun aku tak sanggup memikul amanah itu lagi.Cukuplah sekali di jabatan itu.

Kami bertukar wad Jumaat lepas.Alhamdulillah, amat selesa dengan wad ini.Kembali ke wad lelaki.Less procedures but more admission.Akan tetapi wad perempuan yang kutinggalkan kini menjadi kontang-kanting.Admission dah overflow.Team members pula kurang cekap,ramai HO first posting.MOs ramai yang mengutuk tapi sedikit yang menunjuk ajar.Kasihan juga mereka.Tapi betullah, HO generasi sekarang kurang berusaha.Sudah tiga bulan, basic belum grab lagi.Macam mana?Takkan semua pun mengharapkan senior, sampai bila-bila pun yang junior takkan belajar.

I considered myself having a good call last Sunday.Only 4 admissions from 12pm to 8 am, compared to my friend, 9 admissions from 5 pm to 8 am on Friday.However my MO kept bugging me by asking me to help the female ward. Apparently he did not trust the HO there at all.Luckily ada senior tagger yang helped everything.I couldn't leave my ward as my patient was ill also.Anyway I was happy that I gave a good impression to the specialist during pass over the next day.

On Tuesday, we had an evening at Papa Rich, Straits Quay.It was my first time going there.My comment: so-so only.The restaurant was okay, just like other franchise restaurant, but the staff were not so efficient.Adalah benda yang kurang berpuas hati termasuklah apabila mereka ingin mencantumkan dua meja untuk customers, they just dragged the tables without even lift them up.Bukannya berat sangat meja tu pun.Maka terhasillah bunyi-bunyian yang amat tidak enak, yang mengganggu perbualan kami.Sampai aku cakap, "Can you please lift up the table?" Menu...very moderate, nothing so special.I ordered a hot chocolate which was superb, but the noodles soup with mutton was just too plain.Its like mi segera bubuh garam dan letak telur goreng dan tiga biji mutton balls.Food was not served that quick also.However the best part is we enjoyed "discussing" until night.

Wednesday...as usual after HO teaching, the specialist who came back two weeks ago started giving the exact same long lecture.Then we divided ourselves and went for lunch.one big group, three wards combined together.Lama juga tunggu food sampai sebab banyak queue order.Baru habis makan, a colleague called."Patient bed 4 collapsed, MO is calling the senior HOs to come back to the ward!!!"
Aku pun bingkas berdiri."Guys, patient bed 4 collapsed, let's go back to the ward now!"
Kelam kabut kami berlari di celah-celah orang ramai yang memenuhi kedai makan itu.MA,fellow HOs semua yang mengenali kami tercengang-cengang, apasal empat orang ni kelam kabut sangat? Masa tu memang rasa macam dalam cerita tv.Boleh katakan semua oranglah nampak kami berlari bagai orang gila, termasuklah ketua jabatan kami yang kebetulan berada di pintu belakang itu.

We resuscitated the patient (who was just 47 years old) for almost 2 hours.Unfortunately he passed away after a severe sepsis.Allah dah tentukan ajalnya hari tu.Masa kami baru bertukar wad, dia nampak okay saja.Siap buat wound debridement lagi untuknya.Innalillahiwainna ilaihi raajiun.

On Thursday I was doing clinic duty, which finished as early as 4.30pm.I returned to the ward, all jobs were done.Suddenly at 4.50pm, one new case came in.They all expecting me to clerk because I hadn't do anything yet (like I was sitting down shaking my legs in clinic?). So I just quickly clerked the patient and my friend took his bloods.Done, 5.30 chow!At 7pm, my parents and I went to Butterworth for a wedding.It was the first time my Swift rode the ferry to cross the sea. Subhanallah, syukur dapat lihat dan hidu lautan.Rasa tenang sangat...The Ahmad Badawi Hall was just 5 minutes from the ferry terminal.Mak and ayah kept saying that now it is always me who brought them here and there.My elder brothers just did not care anymore.Well, I will do everything for you, mak & ayah, but I can't do anything about my brothers because I myself also is heartbroken from their ignorance and irresponsibility.

Friday...I almost had to go to OT to replace a friend, but she went to OT herself.So I stayed in the ward, assisting one high tibial pin insertion and doing one ray amputation.I had a good nasi lemak breakfast so I didn't go for lunch. Suddenly at 3pm, we received a call from female ward, requesting for back up.One patient collapsed.Apa lagi, another episode of running!!!From third floor to second floor.Only this time I was alone.My junior collaeague who was in the ward just said ,"kejap" but never showed up.Fine, tunggulah bila  oncall nanti, when patient collapse, don't ever say that you don't know what to do, because you had the chance to learn but you just ignored it.

Bila sampai kat female ward, ada three HOs, semua first posting, just standing around the patient.
Terbeliak lah biji mataku melihat keadaan itu."Guys, wear gloves, wear mask, start resus!!"
Barulah sorang-sorang start bergerak.I am really sure one of them had already experienced the resus situation but still acting very blurred!So we tried to help her, who already collapsed the day before in dialysis unit but able to revive.Only 5 minutes later MO came...the tagging MO.Apa lagi, bila nampak aku kat sana, dia biar je aku handle.Patient unable to revive, prognosis also very poor.Pronounced death at 3.40pm.Dah habis resus, aku pun explained sikit-sikit kat junior HOs bertiga tu.Semoga mereka tahu nak handle this kind of situation the next time.Lepas tu aku pun kena leter dengan MO tu.Dia suruh letak more senior HO kat ward, sebab yang juniors are too slow,bila tanya ada new case ke tak pun tak tahu..mereka cuma tahu patient yang mereka review saja.Okay...I am no longer the leader,so I passed the message to the current leader.

Such an eventful week, malam ni aku break from study.Emotions pun not very stable.Esok baru study balik for my assessment.Photos later.


Tuesday, June 05, 2012

Stressors

After a stressful morning,finally we had a looooong chat which released every single stressors in life.Imagine,patients telling you to do this and that like a teacher telling a kindergarten student.Then you had a friend who used to be closed to you yet now avoiding you because you are close to her enemies.How stress it would be working under that kind of environment.

Moral of the story...you can't make everyone satisfied because no one is perfect. ????2&/+'%#-+'

posted from Bloggeroid

Sunday, May 27, 2012

SUNYI


Asalnya mahu pergi jauh, mengambil angin segar petang yang redup ini.Namun hanya berakhir di kekunci notebook yang berusia tiga tahun ini.

Sunyi...kadangkala hati terasa begitu sunyi dan kosong.Pergi kerja, balik kerja.Rutin yang sama. Rutin yang tidak mengundang rasa menarik dalam hidup.Amat terasa sunyi dan keseorangan.Bukan tiada insan di sisi.Ayah dan mak sentiasa ada.Namun tetap terasa keseorangan.

Dahulu ada abang-abang yang menghibur hati, yang menemani diri. Kini setelah masing-masing mendirikan rumah tangga, peranan abang itu seolah-olah gugur dari dalam hidup mereka. Aku bersyukur kerana dibesarkan bukan dalam keadaan dimanjakan oleh mereka,sebaliknya aku dipengaruhi oleh cara hidup lasak mereka.Aku bukanlah adik bongsu yang disayang-sayang dan dibelai manja tetapi aku adik yang didedahkan kepada lagu rock, heavy metal, filem-filem aksi dan ganas hingga membawa diriku sendiri ke alam seni mempertahankan diri.

Aku berkongsi  minat dan rasa dengan abang-abangku tentang sesuatu perkara yang menjadi bahan kesukaan kaum lelaki.Aku gembira dengan keadaan itu.Permainanku bersama abang ngah dan kawan-kawannya bukanlah main masak-masak ataupun kahwin-kahwin tetapi main bola sepak di mana akulah penjaga golnya, main lawan-lawan street fighter di mana akulah Cun Li, main lumba basikal serta main lumba lari.Kami agak rapat dek usia yang hanya berbeza tiga tahun.

Berbanding dengan abang long, usia kami berbeza lapan tahun. Aku masih ingat peranannya sebagai seorang abang yang membawaku bermain di padang permainan serta panggilannya untuk pulang ke rumah ketika mak dimasukkan ke hospital akibat darah tinggi ketika aku bersekolah di darjah dua.Sayang sekali abang long tidak berpeluang menjadi abang sulung yang diidamkan. Faktor ekonomi mahupun caranya dibesarkan mungkin mempengaruhi. Aku begitu terharu apabila melihat peranan abang sulung yang dimainkan oleh watak Aidil dalam drama Nur Kasih dahulu. Sungguh aku mengharapkan abang seperti itu hadir dalam hidupku...

Kini abang long sudah punyai seorang anak lelaki yang comel, menjadi satu-satunya cucu mak dan ayah buat masa ini.Budak kecil itu menjadi penyeri keluarga kami.Cuma alangkah baiknya jika abang lebih mengambil berat tentang kami...

Abang ngah masih berdua dengan isterinya.Faktor geografi menyukarkan kami untuk kerap berjumpa.Semakin hari semakin jauh dari keluarga.Janji yang dikotanya sudah acap kali dimungkiri.Kadangkala terasa bagai tidak mahu lagi mempercayainya. Seorang abang yang amat bertanggunggjawab terhadap keluarga kini berubah setelah hidup berumah tangga.Dahulu semasa zaman bujangnya, pasti dia akan pulang menjenguk kami sebulan ke dua bulan sekali.Waktunya akan dimaksimumkan sebaik mungkin.Habis kerja petang Jumaat, malam itu juga naik bas untuk pulang dan hanya akan pulang menaiki bas terakhir pada hari Ahad. Kini setelah memiliki kereta sendiri dan beristeri, Sabtu petang baru sampai di rumah. Ahad awal petang sudah mahu bertolak pulang.

Dahulu dikirimnya wang saguhati setiap bulan kepada ayah.Jika tidak dapat pulang, pasti akan dimasukkannya ke bank.Kini setelah berkahwin dan memiliki rumah sendiri, saguhati entah ke mana.Hanya mengharapkan panggilan telefon dua kali seminggu.Pernah juga dia ke luar negara tanpa memaklumkan kepada keluarga.Last minute sangat katanya.

Janjinya mahu pulang dalam bulan lima ini.Bulan lima sudah menjengah ke hujung. Mampukah mengotakan janji? Ataupun ia akan menjadi satu lagi janji palsu yang menyakitkan?

Aku amat mencemburui seorang rakanku yang mempunyai seorang adik lelaki, tiga tahun lebih muda daripadanya. Mereka bekerja di tempat yang sama, berkongsi minat yang sama, sering keluar bersama, malah makan tengah hari pun mereka bertanya antara satu sama lain.Untungnya dia.

Mak dan ayah semakin dimamah usia.Mereka sepatutnya dibahagiakan.Aku harap, jika mereka kurang bahagia di dunia ini, semoga mereka bahagia di akhirat nanti. Doa anak-anak untuk mereka...insyaAllah.

Cabaran menjaga Tok yang berusia 82 tahun semakin susah.Sebagai seorang tua, degilnya makin menjadi-jadi.Begitu mencabar kesabaran kami.Semoga Allah tinggikan tahap kesabaran kami.Kami anggap ini yang terbaik untuk kami.

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Why Conjunctivitis?

I still remember when my uncle passed away 2 years ago.It was my second month in Surgical.My oncall day.We received the sad news at 5am and I had started calling people at 6am.It was so difficult to find for a last minute replacement.I had to call many people.I informed my SHO who was on leave.Being a nice leader,he helped me browsed through the oncall roster to identify which HO could take my place.He gave me their names.I called one person after another.I had to call the hospital and asked the operator to connect me to the ward in order to talk to those whom I did not have the mobile numbers.Only at 7.30am I managed to find a replacement.

I did not know how much I spent for the calls,all I know is I needed the day off for my last respect to my uncle...My friend who replaced me did another favour for me.He took my call unstead if exchange the call...so that I did not have to do back to back call.I owed him...

Tonight my colleague who happened to be a shy junior girl is having problem with her OT duty tomorrow.Suddenly she is down with conjunctivitis but nobody is willing to replace her.Its a long Friday OT,who would want to do it at the last minute?

So I gave the names and numbers of HOs not on duty and asked her to call...She just texted them instead of calling...She said she has no phone credit and shy to some of them.In the end,no one is convinced enough to help her.I provided ways for her but if she did not want to put extra effort,she will not succeed.

I wonder why suddenly HOs in this department getting conjunctivitis...

And I just spent one hour worrying about her..

posted from Bloggeroid

Monday, May 21, 2012

Honour

Now my colleagues are afraid to answer my call because they thought its either changing of duty or putting up their names for unwanted duty.I can't wait for this month to end...when I'll be free from this responsibility..I've kept myself as low profile as I could but this time they could see me. I take it as an honour, not a burden.Lillahitaala.

posted from Bloggeroid

Saturday, May 19, 2012

Triple Events

Three big events happening tonight.

One,my close friend's wedding reception.Oh she is sooo settled. Unfortunately tonight I'm going alone as my friend just couldn't make it at the last minute.Poor me.

Two,there is an event at Padang Kota Lama,very near to the reception hall where Ustaz Azhar Idrus,Imam Muda Asyraf and Sham Kamikaze are giving their superb speech!

Three, Kelantan is facing Sime Darby for final FA Cup.I'm supporting Kelantan!!! May the best team win

posted from Bloggeroid

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Raikannya...

Sekarang ni semua sambutan pun hendak dikontroversikan.Hari ibu...biar siapa yang memulakan sambutannya,ia tetap sesuatu yang baik.Biarpun ia menjadi satu sambutan yang konvensional,masih ramai di luar sana yang lupa akan ibu mereka serta tidak menghargai jasa mereka.

Sambutlah hari ibu pada hari ini mahupun hari-hari lain sekalipun asalkan dengan cara yang dibenarkan syarak.Ikhlaskan hati menyayangi ibu...
Hargailah ibu selagi nyawa dikandung badan...




Selamat hari ibu,mak
Selamat hari lahir keempat Aliff Zikry

Alhamdulillah dinner bersama abang long sekeluarga.Pertama kali rasa Sup Hameed.(nama saja orang Penang).Memang terbaik!!!

posted from Bloggeroid

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Resting is the best Remedy

People said laughter is the best medicine. I don't quite agree.
After a week of hectic activities, eventually I was down with fever and flu, just before my presentation.

Last week we went hunting. We made ourselves an instant organizer.After work, Cyn and I went up and down looking frantically for a venue for our event.All sorts of hotels and apartments we went through. Finally on Wednesday, Allah destined us to go to the northern most of Penang - Perkampungan Nelayan Teluk Bahang, near Taman Negara, also known as the end of the world. We found this chalet with reasonable price and needed services.We were thankful and very happy.Alhamdulillah, our hunting came to an end. That time it was already Maghrib, so Cyn dropped me at surau hospital before we headed to the shopping mall to buy equipment for the props, games and gift.I had to take over the driving as Cyn was too hungry to drive. Actually both of us were starving as we only had light lunch earlier.

On Friday, right after work, we traveled again to the shopping mall for our last shopping. We got all the materials, but we did not have enough man power and time! I went home feeling so tired...only the next morning I started doing our props...Got help from Kris in the afternoon when we met at Cyn's house.At 3 pm, the event finally started...one hour delayed from the tentative.

It started with 5 girls, followed by the other 4 who later joined us at the chalet. The chalet was nice with beautiful view by the sea but with no tap water flowing..so they upgraded our rooms into a single family room which nicely accommodate all of us. That night we had good BBQ food - chicken, fish, sausages and nuggets. We went for a walk along the jetty at 10pm..and came back realizing that we still have some left overs..so instead of bloating our stomach or throwing them away, we decided to give to the locals..and they accepted happily.

Looking at the sea...under the full moon made me feel sooo small. Allah created the whole universe perfectly..the smell of the sea is so unique...the floating boats ...the breeze...the wave...Subhanallah...Looking at the environment made you feel closer to Him..
We had a paltalk about what if we were born as a fisherman's daughter, is our life different?

We returned to our room nearly midnight. I wasn't thinking of anything else other than sleep, because the next day was my first call in the new ward.What a waste, I miss my time with them..I would have stayed up overnight if I wasn't oncall the next day...

Woke up early in the morning just to miss the sunrise as I had to sent Sha back to work and I myself wanted to go home before returning to work later in the afternoon. Suddenly it rained so heavily...cars went very slow...

Bad call...once I stepped into the ward, my colleague told me that 2 patients collapsed. I knew it was going to be hard..the MO oncall was the jonah one...One of the patient did not survive...we resuscitated her for one hour.I even sprained my wrist during the CPR.Poor 78 year old lady...died 2 days post bipolar hemiarthroplasty.I only had my LUNCH at 9 pm...and only slept for 2 hours...

Tuesday...here comes fever and flu...I was really unwell that day..need to prepare two presentations..
Wednesday..I presented about wrist block, ankle block and Bier's block during HO teaching, followed by mortality review. I really have got no energy to speak out loud...apologise to my listeners. In the afternoon, I had a sudden throbbing headache which made me lost focus during rounds..I ended up taking paracetamol with tap water...Went back and sleep the whole night like nobody business...

Alhamdulillah...resting is the best remedy...all I need is just some rest..now I am much better, with full energy..and I should now start cleaning my room and counting our expenses for the event...

Thank you Allah

Happy first anniversary to my beautiful red car.. and one year 10 months for my red scooter :)

Tuesday, May 01, 2012

Four

1. Labour day today!!!Finally I got a day leave after working non-stop for two weeks plus, and tomorrow I'm going back to the busy ward after a month at periphery.

2. Went to check out venues for our event this weekend. Mission not accomplish yet.It has been so long since I last organize an event. Now I'm thinking of doing something special for Mother's day soon.InsyaAllah.

3. Yesterday, Aliff Zikry turned 4 years! Unfortunately we couldn't meet due to technical problems.

4. I realized that Proton and Perodua have lost their Malaysian identity.It used to be Saga, Wira, Kancil, Kelisa...now? Preve, Viva...all borrowed words from overseas.Our kementerian kebudayaan dan kesenian doesn't realize this? Tun Mahathir doesn't feel sad? The most beautiful national car for me is Proton Inspira, because the design looks like Mitsubishi!!!In other words, I'll buy Mitsubishi rather than Proton.

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Dia Pergi Jua

Jika hati tidak tahan untuk melihat kesengsaraan dan kematian, usahlah bekerja di hospital. Di sini, manusia datang dan pergi. Ada yang pergi dengan kesihatan yang kembali, ada pula yang pergi terus menghadap Ilahi.

Ketika di Haematologi dahulu, pesakit inilah yang paling payah untuk diuruskan.Terlalu banyak dugaan menimpanya.Bermula daripada mediastinal mass, dia kemudian disahkan menghidap acute myeloid leukaemia.Allah Maha Besar. Diujinya sedemikian rupa. Dia baru sahaja mendapat cahaya mata pertama pada usia 21 tahun.Isteri pun masih dalam pantang lagi. Namun anak kecil itu tersisih jauh daripada hidupnya.Lahir tanpa bapa di sisi.

Pada waktu itu, dia memerlukan bantuan high flow oxygen.Namun masih ceria dan alert.Isterinya menemani setiap malam selepas habis tempoh berpantang.Malam-malam yang dilalui dengan kepayahan, hanya sesekali melelapkan mata, itupun dalam keadaan duduk ke depan.Lama-lama kemudian dia memakai BIPAP pula, disusuli oleh komplikasi pneumothorax.Cubaan untuk memasukkan chest tube gagal dek fizikalnya yang besar, walaupun pakar yang melakukannya.Lalu dipanggil yang lebih pakar, cardiothoracic team. Chest team dan radiologist juga dilibatkan, namun tiada kejayaan.

Dia dibawa ke dewan bedah untuk prosedur yang lebih teliti.Beberapa hari di wad, dia kelihatan semakin baik.Namun ia tidak berpanjangan.Akhirnya dia tenat, lalu dimasukkan ke GICU.Lama dia di sana, aku sempat melawatnya pada hari-hari terakhirku di unit tersebut.Akhirnya dipindahkan pula ke wad cardiothoracic.Dan semalam, keluarganya meminta AOR discharge ke rumah, yang hanya memberinya lima minit sebelum menghembuskan nafas yang terakhir.

Daripada Allah kita datang, kepada Allah kita kembali.Aku sangat terkesan oleh berita pemergiannya.Mengenangkan betapa sukarnya untuk menguruskannya dahulu, daripada blood taking hinggalah maintaining SPO2.Aku lihatnya di GICU, daripada intubated dan unconscious, kepada alert and stable.Aku lihat sendiri isterinya yang amat muda menyorong bayi kecilnya yang sungguh comel.Aku berada dalam situasi di mana ibunya pernah meminta untuk AOR discharge tatkala dia mula tenat di wad dahulu.Aku pernah menyimpan segunung harapan agar chemotherapy yang dilaluinya dapat mengecutkan tumour itu dan pembedahan dapat dijalankan untuk kesembuhan yang penuh.

Itu semua hanya tinggal harapan.Dia pergi semalam, insyaAllah dalam keadaan baik...meninggalkan dunia dan segala-galanya.Al-Fatihah.

Saturday, April 14, 2012

Pasca Gempa Bumi

Subhanallah Alhamdulillah Allahuakbar

Dua gegaran dirasai oleh rakyat Malaysia ketika gempa bumi di Acheh Rabu lalu. Ramai yang panik, ramai yang takut, ramai yang gelisah dan tak kurang ramai yang bersiap-sedia menghadapi sebarang kemungkinan.

Bencana alam bisa mengeratkan hubungan sesama manusia. Manusia bimbang akan keselamatan orang yang dikasihi dan lebih menghargai antara satu sama lain. Abang long called, YB called, aku called mak, mak pun called balik, aku dan ayah berbincang berkenaan contingency plan jika tsunami melanda, manakala rakan-rakan sekerjaku tak putus-putus called bertanya khabarku. Mereka siap offer rumah mereka andai aku perlu berpindah.

Bencana alam bisa mengingatkan kita betapa hampirnya kita dengan kematian. Sehari pasca gempa itu, aku berbicara dengan MA dan PPK pada malam oncall. Apakah perkara pertama yang kita buat pada waktu gempa itu? PPK menjawab, "mengucap dan istighfar". MA bertanya, "jika tak sempat, bagaimana?". PPK menjawab," jika kita sempat sedar bahawa bencana sedang berlaku, maka kita sempat untuk sekurang-kurangnya mengucap dan beristighfar."

Itu sekecil-kecil perkara yang kita boleh buat, tapi itulah sebesar-besar nilai kita sebagai hamba Allah. Ingat kepada Allah.

Tahniah diucapkan kepada pihak berkuasa serta kerajaan negeri yang begitu cepat menjaga keselamatan awam. Siren dan pengumuman terdengar di mana-mana, kenderaan peronda sentiasa menjaga kawasan pantai serta mengarahkan orang ramai beredar jauh dari pantai. Pada malamnya (tsunami diramalkan berlaku pada 9 malam Rabu itu), pihak berkuasa datang menutup jalan ke kawasan pantai. Kedai makan berhampiran rumahku juga diarahkan tutup. Orang ramai yang berjalan kaki juga dinasihatkan pergi ke tempat lain (mesti mereka tidak tahu pasal tsunami alert itu, masih mahu berjalan ke arah pantai).Semestinya prevention is better than cure.

Semoga semua kita mengambil iktibar daripada bencana alam itu. Peringatan untuk diri sendiri terutamanya.

REUNITED

Kami terbang ke Ireland pada tahun yang sama,namun cuma lebih rapat pada tahun kedua di sana. Kami pernah menjadi housemate sebentar. Dia berkahwin dan dikurniakan anak yang comel, buat penyeri diriku juga :) Alhamdulillah petang tadi sempat bertemu semula Kak Asma', Hafiy dan Fairuz, yang telah pun pulang ke Malaysia for good dua minggu lepas. Dah dua tahun setengah Hafiy tu. Anak yang cerdas, cergas dan disenangi ramai. Acik sayang Hafiy.InsyaAllah, nanti kita ketemu lagi.

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

GEMPA BUMI

Allah Maha Besar...
Tak sangka gegaran yang kurasai sebentar tadi benar-benar adalah gempa bumi magnitud 8.9 yang berlaku di Acheh. Amaran tsunami juga telah dikeluarkan. Semoga selamat saudara-saudara di sana.

Aku sedang berbaring di atas katil sambil menghadap laptop apabila gegaran itu kurasai. Aku ingatkan ada lori besar tengah lalu di jalan, tapi tak dengar bunyi bising pulak. Aku tengok rak kain bajuku juga bergegar semacam. Lama pula tu. Ada makhluk apa pula bawah katilku? Takkanlah jiranku buat sesuatu sampai bergegar bilikku? Aku tengok katilku tiada contact pun dengan dinding. Kenapa bergegar?

Rupa-rupanya memang ada earthquake...rasanya ini pertama kali aku merasai gegarannya. Aku tengok kipas berdiri tu pun bergoyang. Segera aku bangun tutup kipas, ambil handphone dan bergegas keluar dari bilik.Telefon rumah berdering. Abang long called untuk inform pasal gempa ni. Dia pun rasa. Katanya orang ramai di Jusco bertempiaran lari.

Dahulu masa tsunami 2004, abanglah yang paling trauma, sebab dia lihat sendiri ombak tsunami tu datang melalui parit besar di belakang rumahku yang bersambung dengan laut. Abang long juga lihat seekor kucing tergelincir ke dalam parit tu lalu hanyut dibawa arus deras. Seluruh halaman rumah kami, termasuk kawasan jalan yang lebih tinggi ditenggelami lumpur yang dibawa oleh arus tsunami. Abang long lah yang memekik memanggil mak untuk keluar dari rumah. Semua mereka berkumpul di atas kaki lima. Tiga hari pihak bomba mencuci jalanraya yang penuh dengan lumpur pekat tu.Tiga hari juga abang long tidur di ruang tamu kerana mahu bersiap sedia andai tsunami berulang.

Ketika itu aku berada di perantauan...secara fizikalnya tidak terjejas langsung oleh bencana itu. Aku lihat di siaran Sky news ada berita pasal Sri Langka, namun aku tak sangka ia juga melibatkan Malaysia, sampailah rakanku di Penang menghantar SMS berkenaan beberapa kematian di pantai Batu Ferringhi..barulah aku menelefon ke rumah. Saat itu keadaan sudah reda, semua orang sudah kembali ke rumah masing-masing. Mak tak putus-putus menjawab panggilan telefon daripada sanak -saudara dan kenalan yang bimbang akan keselamatan kami...kerana rumah kami berhampiran dengan pantai.

Alhamdulillah keluargaku selamat...
Saat ini ketika aku menulis, terdengar siren daripada pihak berkuasa yang memberi amaran untuk menjauhi kawasan pantai. Aku menjengah juga ke parit di belakang rumahku itu, mana tahu jika ada tanda-tanda tsunami...

Jalan raya begitu sesak..harap-harap semua orang tahu perkembangan ini..pulanglah ke pangkuan keluarga masing-masing dan jauhi kawasan yang berisiko.Semoga selamat semuanya.

Hari ini hari lahir YB.
Hari ini hari pertabalan Yang Di Pertuan Agong.
Hari ini ada gempa bumi.

p/s aku lihat di Twitter, BBC News (Europe) dah dua kali update pasal Tsunami di Acheh, Utusan (Asia/Malaysia) membisu saja?

Tuesday, April 03, 2012

A Journey of a Meaningful Day

Woke up in the morning with runny nose. Flu-like symptoms since yesterday. Have to go back to work after two days weekend break. Received a phone call while driving the car, saying that I have to help review patients in Medical ward. Fine. No big deal. Joined the morning pass over.

Indication for intubation: 3CAR
1. Cerebral protection
2. Cardiopulmonary resuscitation
3. Critically ill patient
4. Airway protection
5. Respiratory failure

POP duty today. Joined the busy clinic.A patient's son (not the one I attended) simply decided to become rude and argued with the nurse. Serve you right ( statement for the nurse). When Cynthia and I was new to the clinic, we did feel annoyed when the nurse kept calling patients in even though we haven't finish dealing with the previous patients. Cynthia did ask the nurse,"Do you like it if you are being called in but then have to wait and stand in the busy clinic because the doctor is seeing other patients?" The nurse did not reply and she kept calling patient in earlier than she should. Hah, today, she received the reward. She called the wheelchaired patient in when there was no empty seat yet. Who wouldn't feel angry and hot tempered when you have to push your dad in a wheelchair and stood there waiting like a fool? So the man argued with the nurse, he tried to cool down, but his ego was just too high.They settled it somehow. At the end of the clinic, the nurse came to me and cried on my shoulder. Hmmm. Moral of the story? Even though you are more senior than others in certain places, you could just listen and respect other people's opinion and ...be more considerate about privacy.Let patient wait outside, sitting on chairs rather than standing inside and blocking other people's way.

It was raining during lunch time.Five of us got together, bringing up old stories on how we met each other.Can't believe that we are all in our 5th posting already.

Rounds...I joined the surgical medical block today. Not many patients but have to travel to different wards.Did two wound debridement..the smell was untolerable.At 7pm, I was still in the ward. Had to rush for tonight's plan.

Rushed to meet a sister in the mall. It was our first meeting...but she seems so friendly with the salam and cheek kisses.Nice lady, making me wanna have a sister.(Since my sisters in law don't really act like one). Rushed back home. Ayah and mak were waiting. They dressed nicely. Had dinner at Gelugor to celebrate mak's 54th birthday. Happy birthday mak!!! Abang called on Aliff's behalf when we were eating. Aliff wanted to ask for his grandmother's birthday cake. So cute. If you want, ask your ayah to bring you home.Went home and cut the cake. Ayah bought a vanilla cake so that he also can have a piece of it.Its a small cake, enough for the three of us :) 2nd April...mak's birthday...


Now the chlorpheniramine is taking its effect.To be continued.

p/s pelanggan yang sukar sudah AOR discharge !!!

Friday, March 30, 2012

Jumaat...

Mengantuk di tengah hari Jumaat...cepatlah ke lima petang..aku mahu pulang...Bulan depan nanti perlu menjadi pepari.Harus mempersiapkan diri untuk menjadi lebih berdikari. Menunggu perkhabaran dari Jitra...semoga ada sinar di hujung hari...Esok dan lusa ada exams untuk Masters..aku mengelak untuk jadi urusetia...minda sudah set untuk perkara lain...

Perkhabaran gembira dari seberang lautan...sahabat-sahabat bakal pulang dari perantauan.Sungguhpun peluang untuk bertemua nanti tidaklah begitu tinggi,namun perasaannya sudah cukup untuk meriangkan hati yang serba kacau ini...

posted from Bloggeroid

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Pelanggan Yang Sukar

Jika dalam hati sudah tersimpan perasaan tidak senang, pasti mudah benar ternampak kekurangannya. Namun jika dalam hati masih ada ruang untuk menerima dengan keterbukaan, pasti yang kurang itu kecil baginya.

Kali ini kami terpaksa berhadapan dengan pelanggan yang paling sukar.Mereka telah migrate ke negara lain namun masih angkuh menyatakan bahawa gaji kami mereka yang bayar.Mereka mahukan layanan kelas pertama dikala berada di kelas ketiga. Salah masuk tempatkah? Mereka tidak sedar bahawa Tuhan sedang menduga mereka melalui insiden tersebut tetapi mereka masih sombong mendongak langit.

Apabila setiap gerak-geri diperhatikan dan dipersoalkan, segala benda menjadi tidak kena.Yang biasa dipraktiskan setiap hari kini menjadi satu perbuatan yang salah pada pandangan mereka sehingga mahu diadukan pada pihak atasan. Apakah mereka cuba mengubah satu sistem yang telah bertahun dibina? Apakah beberapa hari mereka di situ sudah cukup untuk menilai sistem itu?

Tidak perlu bagi pengarah mahupun VIP mana sekalipun untuk masuk campur.Mereka boleh mengadu, hakikatnya kita lebih tahu bagaimana perangai mereka.Mereka tidak meletakkan kepercayaan langsung, setiap inci perkara harus dipersoalkan.

Mereka memang menyakitkan hati.Si abang boleh mengeluarkan kata-kata mencarut hanya kerana suatu ketidaksengajaan.Padahal si adik yang terlantar tidak bersuara sepatah pun. Si emak melayan anaknya bagai berusia empat tahun.Seolah-olah orang lain tidak perlu dikisahkan, hanya anaknya yang penting.

Kesabaran itu ada batasnya. Rasa belas kasihan boleh bertukar menjadi kebencian jika sikap itu masih terus diulang-ulang. Kita hidup di muka bumi bukan sesama kerabat sahaja, kita berinteraksi dengan pelbagai latar masyarakat. Jika mahu tunjukkan belang bukanlah di sini. Di sini adalah tempat kami berkomunikasi dengan jujur dan menerima kekurangan serta kelebihan masing-masing.Jika mahukan kesembuhan segera, mintalah pada Tuhan Yang Satu, serta berbaiklah sesama manusia. Jika seorang manusia terguris, sudah tentu yang buruk saja akan didoakannya. Jika cukup empat puluh orang, silap-silap doa itu makbul.

Usah mencari pasal dengan orang lain, takut-takut pada masa hadapan, orang itulah yang akan menolong kita nanti, ataupun orang itulah yang menjadi sebahagian daripada keluarga kita nanti. Jika benar sayangkan anak, fokuslah pada pemulihannya, bukannya pada mencari kesalahan mahupun menulis aduan yang panjang lebar.

Prevention is better than cure.Kami sedang usahakan supaya kebajikan kami terbela. Kami juga ada maruah dan ada hak untuk mendapat ketenangan di tempat kerja.Kami dibayar untuk memberikan khidmat, namun jika khidmat kami sering diperkecilkan, kami tidak rela.

Ya Allah, Kau selamatkan kami dan lindungilah kami daripada perkara yang tidak elok, berikan kekuatan kepada kami untuk menghadapi manusia seperti mereka.Ya Allah, berilah kesedaran dan keinsafan kepada mereka serta berilah balasan yang setimpal kepada mereka atas segala perbuatan mereka kepada kami.
Amin.

Sunday, March 25, 2012

First Call

Post call...first call in the new department,they already gave me 24hours call in active ward.Alhamdulillah I've only had 6 admissions in total. Now having sleep deprivation.This Tuesday oncall again.Last week's meeting was cancelled,hopefully they won't reschedule on Tuesday.

posted from Bloggeroid

Sunday, March 18, 2012

Masjid Sungai Tiram

Went to visit baby Nur Ain Fatihah,10 days old,another Muslimah insyaAllah. Stopped by this masjid for Maghrib.Subhanallah..another peaceful moment after a Maghrib in Masjid Kapitan Keling last Monday.

posted from Bloggeroid

New Department

Finally... I'm officially out of Medical. A department that I used to love during medical school, yet also a department that put me in tough times before getting the title of DR. I had a long break..8 days of leave that I've never taken before (showed how dedicated I was, hahah), with clinic duty and oncalls somewhere in the middle of the break.Clinic duty was fine, I love going to MFUC, able to learn a lot. My second last call was in Haemato...initially was good, then A3 started calling, a 14 year old girl with leukaemia was having body aches and pains, only relieved temporarily by analgesia. So the nurse kept calling me every 4 hours. Then A2 called me...an old Indian lady suddenly found not responding. She was alive when I arrived, but poor GCS. I had to call the MO oncall (the problematic one).She, being arrogant, wanted to handle it herself and asked me to just stay with the patient. She never done Haemato before, so of course she wouldn't be familiar with the systems there. When she consulted the "step sister" at 5 am, I could hear her nervousness...I passed over and left the ward at 7 am..luckily I was on leave, so I did not have to go back to my own ward to review patient. I heard the patient eventually passed away from acute stroke.My very last call was in Dengue ward...a good call...one unstable patient was nicely transferred to C5...thanks Dr K for being considerate.

INSTANT FLY TO KL

On Wednesday morning, we heard bad news about my YB...he was involved in a hit and run accident the day before while riding home from work. Allah The Almighty, my brother was quite okay, two guys helped him controlled the traffic when YB landed on the ground, some Indian man stopped his car to give the "criminal"'s plate number...then a young man found to be reporting the incident already when YB arrived at the police station, with the same plate number, plus a photo of the car, WML XXXX.YB was then admitted to Sime Darby Medical Centre after further check up revealed some minor fracture of the vertebrae.Me, ayah and mak flew to KL that afternoon with Air Asia, and came back to Penang late that night with MAS. We couldn't stay longer as nobody is taking care of Tok at home.Now YB is still on medical leave and doing physiotherapy. May Allah heal him and protect him from any unwanted events...

BURGER KING - INDAH KHABAR DARI RUPA

First of all, let's put aside about either Burger King is Isreali's product or not.
My Ayah has been mentioning about it for some time as a new outlet has just been operated at Precinct 10, about 10 minutes from home. Ayah said, the burger could cost RM20. That night, we had to stay in KLIA while waiting for our flight at 11.45pm. The only food supply available was either Burger King or Dunkin Donuts.So we chose Burger King as we were so hungry.I was totally disappointed with the quality of burger they served. Size - too small to be called a king. ingredients - very very normal, not extraordinary at all. Price - super expensive and not worth it.Quality - 1/5 star. So that will be the last time I ever eat Burger King and I would suggest to everyone not to waste any cent on this kind of fast food. Sorry Burger King, you are just disappointing.

NEW DEPARTMENT

Started in the new department on Friday...it's call the carpenters and mechanics department. Tagged for full 14 days without off. Clinics are super busy...patients are like water flowing non stop. The nurse keep putting cards on your table even though you're still seeing patients..Procedures are everyday --- Ray's amputation..wound debridement and desloughing...bla bla bla..fractures here and there..it's still very new to comment..but for sure it is not my taste.

LIMPING

I've been limping for a week!!My right foot is killing me. Out of no where, suddenly my right foot started to ache, worse upon walking, with mild swelling noted over dorsum of foot (just about the same day when Lee Chong Wei got injured). I have no history of trauma whatsoever..I don't think its a fracture but I haven't had any x-ray yet.It was so painful last Monday and Tuesday when I had to walk here and there.Even today I've decided to go nowhere and just rest my feet.

I'll pen down now...last two weeks I couldn't attend the meeting as I was tagging,...hopefully this week I can be there and meet them and nurture my soul...

Monday, February 27, 2012

NIAT

Seorang Pharmacyst bertanyakan soalan, " Bagaimanakah kita menjaga niat, agar ia tidak tersimpang?"
Itu satu soalan yang amat baik. Pernah hinggap di telinga suatu ketika dahulu, namun sudah agak lama tidak diperingatkan jawapannya.
Lalu Ustaz menjawab," Pertama,kuatkan niat dengan ilmu di dada.Kedua, selalu bersama-sama dalam jamaah."


Ya, Ustaz. Aku masih ingat lagi ketika mula-mula mengupas Hadith pertama dalam buku Hadith 40,aku telah diberikan satu pesanan bahawa, apabila menghadiri majlis ilmu, sentiasa niatkan untuk mengisi jiwa dengan ilmu-ilmu Allah.


Malam itu kami mulakan dengan hadith yang pertama dahulu. Ringkas pengisiannya namun cukup untuk membangkitkan jiwa yang lemah. Kemudian disusuli pula dengan pengisian awal "Apa ertinya saya menganut Islam" tulisan seorang jurutera, Fathi Yakan.


Oleh kerana malam sudah semakin lewat, kami beredar lebih awal, sebelum majlis benar-benar berakhir. Timbul sedikit kesal kerana tidak menunggu sehingga ke akhir, namun apakan daya, kami perlu melintasi Selat Melaka yang kelam pada tengah malam yang dingin, ditambah pula hanya berkelana sesama Hawa. Pengalaman pertama memandu sendiri sejauh itu.Tidaklah jauh mana pun, tapi ia satu pengalaman baru buatku dan buat kenderaanku. Rindunya pada pengalaman merantau di tempat orang dahulu, sudah tentunya dahulu lebih menarik kerana aku boleh menghayati pemandangan dan hanya sesekali merujuk peta untuk sahabatku yang memandu. Kini aku pula yang harus menjegilkan mata dan memberi fokus yang tinggi. Ada juga aku membuat aksi reverse 5 meter di jalan utama dek terlepas simpang -- Awas,jangan meniru aksi ini. 


Looking forward for the next one, tapi macam ada aral melintang -- I'm joining the new department in a few days, that means tagging for 2 weeks!!
______________________________________________________________________________

Rasa amat lega. Berakhir sudah "penderitaan" selama empat bulan di jabatan ini. Bermula di general medical ward yang super busy - - tapi di sinilah aku belajar buat banyak prosedur, daripada simple peritoneal tapping hinggalah lumbar puncture.Kemudian ke chest ward, inilah ward yang paling best,walau busy macam manapun, tetap boleh habis kerja by 5 pm.Seterusnya, ermm haematological ward, umpama @#$%^&, setiap hari start kerja pukul 5 pagi, bila abang tiri tiada, mak tiri datang buat rounds, dan kenalah macam-macam tengkingan daripadanya.Lepas sebulan, lega sikit apabila bertukar ke Nephrology ward, busy juga, selalu kena epigastric pain sebab tak sempat langsung nak makan, tapi hati tak sakit...hanya setengah bulan di sini, sebab dah start cuti. Alhamdulillah, specialist in charge bagi habiskan semua cutiku,jadi aku dah kira bercuti panjanglah ni walaupun minggu lepas masih buat oncall dan clinic duty semasa cuti.


Dalam masa beberapa hari ini aku berasa sangat tenang...tak perlu fikir pasal tekanan kerja.Tapi..stress macam mana pun, dah setahun lebih aku menghabiskan housemanship di sini, tinggal lagi 2 postings, InsyaAllah. Aku tak pernah pertikaikan keputusanku untuk terus pulang ke Malaysia for good lepas graduate dan bekerja di sini. Cuma yang aku selalu pertikaikan ialah budaya kerja di sini yang tak mesra house officer. Semua yang buruk-buruk adalah house officer..Ada consultant yang sambung belajar di UK/Ireland pun bila pulang tidak membawa langsung budaya dari sana. Bukan nak puji budaya orang, tapi hakikatnya BUDAYA/ETIKA KERJA mereka lebih baik daripada kita...


___________________________________________________________________________

Pertama kali menjejakkan kaki ke Straits Quay yang terletak hanya 15 minit dari rumahku. Subhanallah, apabila pandang ke laut, cantiknya pemandangan, ada light house lagi. Namun bila meninjau di dalam bangunan, erk...tak sesuai dengan jiwaku, terlalu "mahal". Rata-rata kedai di situ adalah yang eksklusif, kata orang Melayu, untuk orang-orang kaya.Sungguhpun aku sudah bekerjaya, aku masih lagi tak pandai nak "berbelanja lebih", untuk ke restoran/kedai yang hebat seperti itu, aku tidak betah.


Tujuan aku ke sana adalah untuk ke PC Fair, yang julung-julung kali diadakan di situ. Amat mengecewakan...tak banyak booth dibuka pun, tak seperti di PISA dahulu, nak mencari pen drive pun susah, hanya ada 2 booth yang menjualnya, itupun pendrive biasa, bukan yang funky/unique tu, harganya pun mahal.Lalu kakiku pantas melangkah keluar, tak guna lama-lama di situ,hajat tidak kesampaian. Suatu hari akan kubawa mak dan ayah melihat light house dan jeti yang cantik itu, insyaAllah.
_________________________________________________________________________________

Alhamdulillah semalam aku membawa mak dan ayah menziarahi keluarga abang di Juru.Kami dinner di warung Pak Su yang terkenal dengan mi udang/ mi ketam -- pernah masuk Jalan-Jalan Cari Makan. Masa sampai di rumah abang, dah pukul 6 petang, si Aliff Zikriy baik punya lena.Sudah betah bercakap budak itu, namun masih "tak terus" lagi.

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Abdominal pain

Nausea, diarrhoea, abdominal cramping-like pain, unable to tolerate orally and dizziness.
I've been having these symptoms since yesterday early morning, started right after I've completed the 6am bloods in Dengue Ward. Food poisoning? AGE? Late effects of gastritis? The Malays say perut masuk angin.
Since I've been working in Nephro ward, I've been ignoring my stomach very much. There is never been a day without complaining of epigastric pain. Still, I have no time to fill in my gastric cavity in order to reduce the acid secretions.Too busy.

I'm on leave for these two days. Thank God, just the perfect timing for my GI tract to make a commotion.Last night, I had multiple times of waking up from sleep due to cramping abdominal pain, making my sleep very bad in quality. Alhamdulillah today I feel much better, even though my appetite is still below normal.Tomorrow I have to work for one more day, oncall at night, then off again.

Last month was tough because of who I worked with.This month is also tough because I've been having EOD calls...super tiring, Even the nurses were surprised to see me coming for oncalls over and over again.

I'll stop complaining about work. Life is not just about the negatives.

2nd February:
Started in a new ward :) I was post call from Chest ward, considered a good call but had to sleep in Surau. I just realised that I have been sleeping everywhere in the hospital, so far nothing happened ...:) What a relief that I finished my rotation in Haemato ward..started and ended with the step mother.Hopefully one day she will realise that nobody is perfect other than Allah and that someone will eventually become better than her.

5th February,Maulidur Rasul
My first call in Nephro ward after almost 2 months..Not a bad call, alhamdulillah.

7th February, Thaipusam.
Oncall again, see? As usual, loud music from behind the hospital, but  I think last year was louder.They celebrated their Hindu's ritual, yet they still fight for some reasons.Hmmm.Happened just behind my ward. People hit each other using helmets and sticks.Pity those who were oncalled in casualty and Surgical ward. That night I spent 45 minutes to get home after oncall, instead of 20 minutes! The traffic was really bad.I supposed, those not celebrating it and those not working should have stayed at home.

8th February
Alhamdulillah.Got one vanilla cake from my parents and one chocolate cake from Shida and Cynthia.

17th February
My leave are all approved!!! Thanks to Sui, she actually helped me "tied" our specialist in charge so that I could go see him and discussed about my end of posting leave. He happily approved my leave and rejected my colleague's leave as he said mine is more important :)

Money, money
My ayah and I have been doing some survey about houses in Penang. Ayah kept saying that its more worth it if I buy a terrace house rather than a condominium/apartments.My YB also advise me to grab any opportunity to buy a land house in Penang, rather than in Seberang or Kedah.The issue is, where do I get the money from? According to the financial planner by the Islamic organisation (forgot its name), now its not the best time to buy a house yet, because I just started working for less than 2 years, and my salary is not like thaaat much. So I just keep it aside first.

It seems that a few political figures associated with BN have problems with money issue. Shahrizat, who loss to Nurul Izzah Anwar in general election yet still appointed as a minister, has problems with money.Her husband are suspected to be using 250millions loaned by government for some projects for personal use - bought luxurious condos, cars and went for family vacation. This issue is still under trial, but as the Malay says, jika tiada angin, masakan pokok bergoyang?

Khir Toyo, formerly well respected as a Dentist who became a MB finally found guilty of bribery. He bought a mansion worth millions. Fuhh!!What an "achievement" for him.

Ling Liong Sik,also investigated for the same issues. Hmm,..I thought these ministers always get extra allowance when they go for some visit, plus some other tiny miny allowances, but still not enough?

Talking about money also, someone confidently said that the RM500 BR1M is halalan toyyiba. Wah...such an excellent use of words. But when it comes to RM100 bantuan warga emas, it is all haraaam.Anyway, I believe that the money actually belongs to rakyat, and they deserve to have it even without applying for it.By the way, when will our allowance going to be paid? It has been 5 months already, working/oncall like zombies but getting salary like the bankers who sit in air-cond room from 8-5.

My appetite is still very poor. My stomach is still not healthy.I am not keen to go to work and oncall tomorrow, but I am happy, tonight we are going over the sea to meet everyone else after such a looong time.