Medicine shrinks my art brain. Studying medicine occupies a lot of my time. Even writing is very limited these days. Everytime when I think about lining up words for a masterpiece, or even just to blab about life matters, medicine would stop me. Oh, I haven’t finished reading surgery, oh, I haven’t started Paediatrics, oh tomorrow I’ve got a tutorial. Time is dedicated to medicine. Art has been a stepdaughter now, ignored and malnourished. My literature and art of writing has been blunted by all those medical terms. Finding good words to start a paragraph is endless. Ideas are broken into fragments and can’t be gathered collectively. When the ideas came, I was already ready for bed or the writing materials were just inaccessible.
However, after five days of being a shadow, I agree to my initial decision of choosing medicine over the arts. Lucky me to get an intern who likes company, friendly and patiently teaches me. We were together just like a man and his shadow. Not like a few of my friends who were ‘’rejected’’ or ignored by their interns. Some even didn’t bother to turn up.
Five days are enough for me to do lots of phlebotomies, including those for transfusion and group and hold, several cannulations, rewrite the drug charts, fill in blood forms, echo forms, imaging forms and even discharge letter. Not to mention the tour to the eye clinic,to the medical record, to the brachytherapy unit and writing a referral letter. Just like other interns do.
Again, this time I was with radiotherapy, something related to the oncology. I got oncology for half of medicine rotation in fourth med, did elective in oncology back in Penang, shadowed a radiotherapy intern and going to shadow a nurse in oncology again. Is this a hint?
On my last day today, the intern got me a patient to practice physical examinations and then we went through some common exam questions together. Then, he got a bleep and we went to the wards and did ecg and bloods together. All those were really helpful and somehow gave me a reassurance too. Don’t give up before you even try and even when there is one day left, keep going and have no fear. Fear is like a disease, if you don’t treat it, it’ll eat you up.
Now what I really need is some peace of mind, which also comes from a peaceful world so that I can come back in piece. When the intolerance is no more tolerated, should I go far or should I go up high?
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